Easter and The Great Wedding to Come, by Jason Johnson

I was going through one of my favorite websites, The Gospel Coalition, this morning and found this blog by Jason Johnson featured on the main page. Not only does it pertain to this day, Good Friday, but it is relevant to weddings and further examines why our relationship with Christ is often referred to as a marriage. It is definitely worth your time! I hope you enjoy:)

Happy Good Friday all!! :):)

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/04/05/easter-and-the-great-wedding-to-come/

P.S. You might have to copy/paste the link:)

Cute, Annoying, and the Fine Line that Separates Them

In 1987, ABC came out with the TV series Full House as part of their TGIF program. This show featured a widowed father, Danny Tanner, his three daughters, his brother-in-law Jesse and his best friend Joey. However, if you ask any American alive at that time what he/she remembers most about the show, they will respond with one name, Michelle. Michelle Tanner, the youngest of the Tanner daughters, (played by the now famous Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) was the center of the show. Her blond haired, blue eyed toddler cuteness overwhelmed audiences and the show was renamed The Michelle Show in many homes. Ever since, Americans have developed, what I like to call, The Michelle Syndrome; meaning, a show/event must have an adorable child in it in order for it to be worthwhile. The presence of infantile flower girls and ring bearers proves that weddings are no exception.

Having a child in a wedding can be an adorable! There's nothing like the presence of a Michelle at center stage to really put the "aww" factor into a ceremony. Of course, Michelle Tanner was always adorable, always on cue, always obedient and always composed. But what happens when Michelle gets scared? What if she gets shy? What if she forgets how to walk a few feet? What if she gets distracted by a fly? What if it turns out she can't walk at all? These are realities that must be faced when choosing participants in a wedding ceremony. 

Children are unpredictable, and though it may be cute in some circumstances, it can become annoying very quickly; especially in a wedding. That two year-old nephew may make an ideal ring bearer on paper, but what happens the moment the music starts? Will he still be cute when everyone in the wedding party has to break formation, go back up the aisle and get him? I have been to so many weddings where five minutes of the ceremony is spent with the groom, the bridesmaids and even the pastor stooping down, saying, "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon." 

This is the moment where the Michelle Syndrome breaks down. The wedding guests no longer see this child as the adorable Michelle, but see him/her more as a Damian from The Omen. When the baby starts crying because it doesn't know what to do, the audience may feel pity for the poor piece of preciousness, but ultimately they're thinking, "someone just go get her!"

There are a few solutions to this problem:

Solution #1—Set an age limit.

Only include children in your wedding who can function on their own. Don't choose a baby who just took his/her first steps the day before. It won't be cute twenty minutes later when they finally get to the end.

Solution #2—Pick a child who is mature enough to handle it.

Just because your niece is old enough for the job, doesn't mean she's mature enough for it. If the F.G. or R.B. is 10, but has bad stage fright, for Heaven's sake, let the child sit out! The ring bearer could be an old man and still be unfit for the job. Be discerning.

Solution#3—Use alternative transportation for underaged participants.

If you really feel convicted that your cousin's two week-old daughter needs to be in your wedding, that's cool. Just get creative with how it will go down. I've been to a wedding where the maid of honor dragged the ring bearer and flower girl down the aisle in a wagon. That's cute and effective. In fact, that, in itself, is cuter.

So, the moral of the story is, the line between a child being cute and being annoying in a wedding is very fine. I love children and love a good Michelle in the wedding, but even I am bothered when I, as a guest, feel like I should leave my seat to help the child to his/her place. 

The wedding couple should also remember that they are supposed to be the center of attention. Even if the child gets where he/she needs to go, you don't want him/her to pull attention away from you during your day. Your wedding day should not be The Michelle Show, it should be yours. So choose wisely.

Reception Suggestions, but do what you want!

The reception at a wedding can be considered the most important part of the event. Although the most meaningful portion (and the actual reason we should attend weddings) is the ceremony, the reception oftentimes becomes the main focus. It's often a casual, relaxing time for people to talk to friends, kick back and fill their bellies. That is why I am offering up four suggestions concerning receptions. 

Before you assume I'm going to give you a list of specific decoration ideas, I'm going to have to shut that train of thought down. I have no eye for decor, I'm not even that good at decorating my own room (I leave all those ideas to Kristen Haney:) My area of expertise (if you even wanna call it that...you shouldn't) mostly lies in food and entertainment. Of course, I am stealing ideas from weddings I've been to in the past and my new bff theknot.com (don't judge me!) 

#1 suggestion for a reception is make it as personal as possible.

I don't know who said inside jokes at a wedding are a bad idea, I have to strongly disagree! The more personal the reception is to the bride and groom, the better it is, even for the guests. I once went to a wedding where the couple had a lemon and lime themed reception. Of course everyone seemed confused until word got around that the couple chose this theme because they always claimed to be "as different as lemons and limes." It doesn't matter who doesn't get the joke at first, it makes it so much more enjoyable for the guests to get to know your relationship better as the night goes along.

Along with this idea is putting facts about your relationship into your reception. One couple I know placed pictures of their relationship from start to finish all over the place. I read about a couple who met in Vegas and named each table after a location in Sin City. I also went to a wedding where each place mat had a random fact about the couple (be careful that, if you choose to do this, you don't reveal anything inappropriate.)

Food can also be a personal touch. My great friend Jessica had Chick-fil-a brownies in her reception because they were her favorites, and I fully intend to have Icee machines at my wedding! More on food later!

#2 suggestion for a reception is make it comfortable and fun.

Receptions don't always have to be formal, in fact, it's often better if they're not. If you wanna go for a more casual lounge setting, there's no reason to stick to tables and hard chairs. Not to mention, if the bridal party decides to follow tradition and take pictures directly after the ceremony the guests could be waiting around for a while. 

So having entertainment for those waiting is never a bad idea. Many couples decide to use things like photo booths and mad libs to help keep the guests busy, both great ideas! An idea I just read about is having a photo scavenger hunt with disposable cameras at each table. The guests must do things like: take a picture with three people you don't know, find an elderly couple holding hands, take a pic mimicking the bride and groom, etc.

Don't be afraid to get out of the norm with your setting and mood of the reception. It's your wedding, do what you want!

#3 suggestion for a reception is don't be afraid to include junk food.

It seems to me the idea of including junk food in a wedding reception is a bit taboo...it shouldn't be. Going along with the personal reception idea, if the bride and groom would prefer to not have finger sandwiches or full out dinners, bring in food they love. If the bride's favorite meal is pizza, bring in pizza! I once knew a couple who loved a wide variety of foods and had different stations around the room. In one corner, there was nachos, in another there was sandwiches, etc. The day is yours, the meal is yours, do what you want. 

Word of caution: Though this is your day and it should fit to cater what you desire, you should also consider that other people will have to consume what you lay out. Don't go out and choose the most random/wackiest thing you like, be considerate. Also, please remember there's a thin line between casual and tacky. Having a relaxed wedding is not the same as having a sloppy wedding. This is still a special day, it's not your everyday social gathering. Make it what you want, but do keep in mind it's unique.

#4 suggestion for a reception is dance floors and food bars are always a good idea.

I almost split this suggestion into two separate ideas but decided I needed to keep it together for the sake of not going off on tangents about how much I love each. 

Personally, my favorite part of the wedding is where I get out on the dance floor and break it down with my friends! Not everyone likes or believes in dancing (and I'm not judging either way) but dance floors not only allow people to let loose but something about them brings more openness to the room. It's more space to gather and I think it's an overall great idea..not to mention the cha cha slide never gets old!

Food bars are always fun! I'm not just talking about buffets, I'm talking about ice cream bars, candy bars, even pop/soda bars. Anything that gives variety, choice and enjoyment is recommended:)

Another random favor suggestion I discovered today is having monogrammed take home boxes for anyone who wants cake for later (WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT?!) That takes care of guests and less food your parents have to store in their freezers. 

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Like I keep saying, the reception is the time to enjoy and let loose. Brides and grooms, make it want you want, it's your day!! 

Please Don't Stop the Music...jk! End it NOW!

Hey all! It's Christmas break so I thought I'd take the opportunity to update my wedding blog and, boy, do I have material;) I've been to multiple weddings since last I posted and have thought a lot about what I would like to address next and I think I've found the proper theme...wedding music.

I recently went to a family wedding where my father (the officiator of the wedding) made the statement, "I told [the groom] that these favorite songs of yours seem short and awesome whenever you're in the car, but they become an eternity the moment you put them in your wedding ceremony." Well spoken, dad!

The number of songs in your wedding can set the tone for the moment, but you're going to learn almost immediately that it will also draw out time you would much rather pass by quickly. After all, lighting the unity candle takes, approximately, 10 seconds (depending on how stubborn your candle is). The rest of the song is spent standing awkwardly, trying to find something to bide your time while everyone is staring at you. Everyone who's been to or in a wedding knows what I'm saying.

Brides and grooms always seem to comment about how they don't know what to do with the 2 minutes and 45 seconds of the song they used to complete a certain task (it ends up feeling like 20 minutes). Audience members, likewise, don't know what to do. They can only think of how cute the couple is for so long, then they start thinking about the cake and how much time is standing between them and that goal. (I know I mention guests thinking of cake a lot but those free of this experience, cast the first stone!)

Does this post mean I think wedding songs are bad ideas? Not at all. But like all things, it must have meaning and moderation. I have been to weddings involving twenty-billion songs (exaggeration, but you know what I mean) when only two of them have a purpose (roses to mothers, slideshows or unity candle stuff). The rest of the songs were just for funsies, but ended up being no fun for anyone.

So what's the rule of thumb? Well, not counting the songs used for escorting the bridal party in and out (sidenote: be careful with transitions, using too many songs for different people in the party can be tricky) I would say one or two songs are appropriate. Any more than that is ludicrous. Personally, I think cutting songs short is not a bad idea, just make sure it's done properly. My own opinion is that one song should be used during the ceremony. Something short and meaningful to the bride and groom. I'm not just speaking as a serial wedding guest, I'm speaking on behalf of brides and grooms who have gone through this, you'll thank me later.

Another thing to consider is propriety in the choice of music. Though it's a joke in my family, I have no intention of using "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard in my wedding...you shouldn't either. Please remember that your mother, God and your mee-maw (Sheldon Cooper reference) are in the audience and--despite what you might think--they really DO care about the references you make in their presence. So please keep it meaningful but appropriate.

What I want more than anything is for the bride and groom to make their wedding all they want it to be! I write this blog, once again, to help, not to criticize. Choose the music that defines you and you couldn't do without on your special day. But do realize there are other things to consider, like timing and sanity, for your guests but especially YOU. Until the next time, have an amazing wedding:)

My Dream Wedding (the Wedding to End All Weddings) and What It's Gonna Cost Me.

I know it's been a while since I last updated this blog, but I haven't had a lot of time to dedicate to it (however, do not make the mistake of thinking I don't have plenty of material:). I felt led this morning to share something God has put on my heart concerning weddings. Now, before you get confused, this post is not a typical "opinionated"articulation of what I think of weddings. It's more of an open-hearted confession and "working out of salvation" and faith. Be ye warned!

As much as I'm known for my wedding attendance, I'm also known for my dreams; and last night, I had one that rocked me.


I had a dream that I was standing in front of a full-length mirror in an empty room. I was wearing a wedding dress I had seen the day before in a friend's online wedding album and after being attended by this friend I was left alone in the room. I was admiring the dress I was wearing and (I can honestly say) humbly admiring myself in it. After a few moments of emotional wonder and satisfaction at what I knew would be the day dreams came true, I looked in the reflection and noticed someone standing in the doorway. Without being able to give an accurate description (because there frankly isn't one), I knew it was Jesus. He was smiling at me, in a loving and proud manner, but with a countenance that said, "Follow me." I, with a few moments of pause and reflection, stepped out of the dress, took off the veil and followed Him out the door.

Needless to say, I awoke this morning blown away.

To clarify, I wanna describe what I mean by His "follow me" look, because in that moment, I knew exactly what He was asking me to do. In the New Testament, when Jesus asked someone to follow Him, it was never as simple as taking a stroll with Him. When Jesus asked people to follow Him, it was symbolic of leaving everything behind, abandoning your ownership of self and going where He went. We see this in Matthew 8 with the teacher of the Law, pledging himself to Jesus but wanting to go take care of his family after his father's death. Jesus' response was, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own." (Matthew 8:22) We see it with the rich, young ruler in Luke 18 when Jesus tells him in order to follow Him, he must give up everything he owns and dedicate himself fully to Christ. Of course, we also see it in the calling of His disciples as Jesus walks up to them in their daily routines, says "follow me" and they drop everything immediately.

Jesus was not asking these men to hate their families, their careers and their comfort, at least not in the way we view hate. He asked them to give it up for His glory's sake, to love Him so much more than all that it can be seen as hatred (just like He was asking me to give up what I was doing.) That if they truly wanted to share in His glory, they had to share in His sacrifice. They were called to drop dreams, goals, provision and loved ones in order to give themselves fully over to His glory.

A few months ago, I went through a study with my roommates and a few other friends called The Basics by Francis Chan. We spent a few weeks dedicated to the idea of the cost of following Christ. During this time, we meditated on the following passage.
        
   Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If  
    anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, 
    brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my 
    disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my  
    disciple. “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down 
    and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if   
    you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will 
    ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

    “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first 

    sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose 

    the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will 

    send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms 

    of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you 

    have cannot be my disciples. 

                —Luke 14:25-33

  After reading these words of Jesus, the question was posed, what is YOUR cost of following Christ? Before deciding to follow Christ, we need to count the cost like a tower building or a warring king. As John Piper points out in his sermon, "The Radical Cost of Following Christ," each person seems to have a different sacrifice to make. The rich, young ruler was asked to give all his money (whereas, Jesus was satisfied with Zacchaeus only giving 50%), the potential disciple was asked to give up his family and the twelve were asked to give up their jobs and futures.


SO, BACK TO THE DREAM! (I know you were waiting to get back to that!) In the dream, Jesus asked me to give up what every girl dreams of, her wedding day. I knew it the moment I saw Him, and at that moment, I had to count up the cost. Jesus was asking me to love Him and desire Him more than the idea of being married, but not just marriage itself. He was asking me to put aside my need for human love, romantic love and the idea of being needed and physically satisfied (because extroverts get their energy through external sources, this doesn't just refer to sex.) It was at that moment, that I had to trust that if I could not have those things, God would replace them with Himself and that it would be worth it. And isn't that the problem? 


We, as Christians, want to pledge our lives to Christ, to sacrifice all for Him and do so with zeal...at the beginning. But when it comes down to it, don't we all wonder if it's truly gonna be worth it? I'm not speaking hypothetically, I'm speaking literally because it's something I've been struggling with lately. After Christ asks the ruler to give up His wealth, He makes some shady-sounding statements about  the impossibility of salvation to man and sacrifice without Christ, that causes Peter to explode in frustration, "WE HAVE LEFT ALL WE HAD TO FOLLOW YOU!" In other words, "I gave up everything, now you're saying we've been following you for nothing?!" However, Jesus replies, Truly I tell you, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or  parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life. (Luke 18:29-30) 
Jesus says, "Peter! It's worth it! Trust me!"


The question is, do I trust God? Do I trust God with this marriage business? Do I trust Him with my loneliness? Do I trust Him with my friendships?


The thing I feel I need to point out here is that sometimes, God takes away, just give things back. Many times, I've sacrificed things in my walk with Christ, only to have Him hand them back in a way that glorifies Him better, and I've seen Him do it in my family. Years ago, I cried on my bedroom floor, telling God that I gave up my desire to see the world...only to get into college and be allowed to spend my summers in different parts of the country, glorifying Him in planted churches. My dad was asked to give up his passion and goals in teaching and coaching basketball for full-time ministry...and was allowed to start outreach basketball camps for kids and become involved in the local school's athletic department as an assistant coach and announcer.


God may not ask me to give up the wedding dress permanently, but He wants me to be willing if it brings Him the most glory. For different people, it may be different things: Marriage in general; certain relationships; maybe even the types of relationships we desire to have.* But the thing is, God also wants us to know we're not sacrificing in vain. As much as I may want a wedding, I've never been guaranteed an earthly wedding, and (totally paraphrasing a more complexly-worded statement by Jonathan Edwards) God is under no obligation to fulfill promises we've made up for Him.


However, I am guaranteed a wedding, that will outshine any wedding I've been to (since we all know I've been to a lot!) The Bible refers to Jesus as many things: Shepherd, Physician, Lamb, etc. But one certain description is husband. A believer's relationship to Jesus is not just a business transaction, or king and subject, but a relationship of Bride to her Groom. He is not only walking us down the aisle, He is the one we walk toward. And the description of our wedding is out of this world:


  One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues  
  came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”  
  And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and 
  showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. It 
  shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious 
  jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. —Revelation 21:9-11


Obviously, there's more to it than the extremely small excerpt, but that—in itself—is an amazing description.


So, once again, the difficulty lies with the questions "What's this great wedding gonna cost me?" and "Do I think it'll be worth it?" I can't completely answer that. I still struggle with trusting God with the journey (since He's assured me the destination); and I've been made very aware that it will cost me everything. But I pray that as I grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, I'll not only step reluctantly out of the dress, but jump and run! Pray for me:)


*I forbid ANYONE from using this post as an excuse to break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. God gets enough unnecessary blame for that

9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche--Article From Yahoo!

I got onto Yahoo! today and noticed an article on 9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche. I thought I would share. Let me know what you think of these well-intentioned, yet overused ideas.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/bad-wedding-cliches-born-from-good-ideas-2529171/

My next post will reveal MY opinions on these traditions. Stay posted!!

Dress of the Season: A Wedding Girl's Confession

The new Duchess of Cambridge, formerly known as Kate Middleton, just got reprimanded for wearing a "recycled dress" to her cousin-in-law's wedding. Apparently, it is a big "no-no" to re-wear an outfit to a social event, specifically weddings. However, I will confess with no shame that I too have "recycled dresses" for weddings. As someone who attends many weddings throughout the wedding season, it is very inconvenient to find multiple outfits for multiple weddings. And since no one really looks at the guests anyway (except in the cases in which celebrities are being married) I have no qualms about picking out one outfit to wear to each wedding I go to during the wedding season.

Every year, I have what I call the "Dress of the Season." It's the one outfit (usually my Easter dress) that I wear to a majority of the weddings that summer, if not ALL of them. Some may call this practice "tacky," some may call it "laziness," but I call it "genius." Assuming men read my blog, I know they would stand behind me on this. Who wants to worry about which shoes to wear or how to fix your hair EVERY WEEKEND? This way, you find one dress, one pair of shoes and one hairstyle that goes well together, and you're set for the summer! Of course, the downside to this technique (if you consider this a downside) is that you look the same in every wedding photo you take that summer. I, myself, don't care about that, but if it is considered taboo in your circle, there are plenty of ways to spice it up. You can add or take away accessories to give it more diversity, like putting a shawl over the dress or putting a flower in your hair. Not to mention, it saves the wallet some trouble because you'll only need to buy one outfit.

My standards for a "Dress of the Season" are as follows:
1) It must flatter you! Find a dress you look good and feel good in. You never know how many single groomsmen there will be at the blessed event. Who knows, you might get blessed ;)

2) It must be wedding appropriate. Remember that your friends, family, friends' families, children and God will be in attendance at this wedding. Keep it kosher, people!

3) You must be able to dance in it. That short, skimpy dress may look good on you when you're standing in the room like a mannequin, but if a guy asks you to dance to Usher's "Yeah!" you're not gonna be lookin so hott as you're pulling on it to make sure the bride's Uncle Carl doesn't get an eye full. (Read standard two to be reminded of this idea.)

Finding that perfect dress for the wedding season is not hard. Just find one you love! Feel free to go back through my Facebook photos and view my dresses from the past (since I know you probably already have just because you may not have noticed before.) There's no shame in being convenient and thrifty! For those who have a problem with this practice, don't judge me.