"Do I HAVE To Choose A Side?"

In a traditional wedding, it is customary for the bride's family and friends to sit on the side she stands on, likewise for the groom's family and friends. For example, the bride is usually to the left of the groom, therefore the bride's loved ones sit on the left side of the church. I have heard multiple reasons for this tradition.

1) Back in the day, a marriage was a political union, and depending on how rich the bride was, it was a well-guarded ceremony. The groom was placed on the right of the bride as a defensive strategy, so that if the bride's life (or we could say, "his investment") was at stake, he, his groomsmen and the rest of his posse could easily access their weapons and attack. I would LOVE to see a dramatization of this scenario at a wedding today, complete with an "attack," forcing a sword fight to ensue!

2) The other reason for this tradition is to symbolize the idea that a bride and groom's loved ones are behind them, supporting them in their decision. It also symbolizes their future support of the couple's marriage.

Now, the real issue today is, "Do I HAVE to choose a side?" More than likely, no swashbuckling pirates are going to disrupt the ceremony, looking to strike the couple down with swords. And one of the biggest complaints I hear from wedding guests is that they want to see their loved one's face as he/she takes his/her vows and sitting behind them prevents this privilege. Another issue with this tradition is the scenario in which a guest is equally close to both the bride and groom. What then? When the usher asks "bride or groom" do you start going back through your history with both to determine which one you're closest to? "I met Jeff in May, but we didn't become good friends until after Jane and I hit it off in July;" or, "I've known them both my whole life but I once dated Lauren's brother and it didn't end well, so does that mean there's a slight rift between us?"

Luckily, some modern couples have come up with solutions to these issues. A few weddings I've been to have not been divisive in seating arrangements. The couple has told the ushers not to bother asking which side a guest would prefer, but simply where they would like to sit. This way, the guest can choose that perfect spot for that photo opportunity or to get a good view of the person they would like to see.

One strategy I have grown to LOVE is when the preacher stands on the floor during the ceremony, while the bride and groom stand on the stage. This way, the couple will still be looking to the preacher for guidance but are also facing the guests, making their faces and expressions available to be viewed and photographed throughout the wedding. Everyone wants to see the looks on the bride's face as she becomes a wife. And nobody wants to miss the look on the groom's face when he pledges his life to his new bride. Not to mention, the KISS! This way, everyone wins.

So for those future wedding guests out there who are still facing the dilemma of "which side should I choose" my solution to you is, grab a friend and play "Rock, Paper, Scissors." That's how I deal decisions in MY life!

7 Brides for 7 Brothers and How it Affected My Summers

I remember when I was a little girl, I was obsessed with musicals! I loved the fact that people could randomly break out in song and choreographed dance and it was perfectly acceptable. (I attempt it now and people judge me.) But one musical I fell in love with at an early age was Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. I remember the first time I watched the scene where the women are standing around in their captors' room and begin to sing the song "June Bride." For those who have never watched this movie or seen it performed, the repeated lyrics of this song are, "They say when you marry in June, you'll always be a bride." I knew, right then, this philosophy would have a major effect on my life...and so it did.

For those who don't know me that well and wonder how I know so much about weddings, let me just take this summer for example. This summer, alone, I have already attended four weddings, have two more coming up, and at least three weddings I cannot attend because they were scheduled at the same time as another wedding and I had to make a choice. (That's not counting any last minute invitations I might receive in the future.) My June and July are PACKED FULL of weddings. Obviously, there were quite a few little girls who watched Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and caught the same philosophy those girls were dishing out to the public.

I want to make it clear, I am not complaining. I adore weddings and wish I could attend everyone's; however, because Milly and her homegirls brainwashed us all into thinking the only acceptable months to get married are June and July, I'm not able to oblige. This is my proposal: there are 10 other months in the year to get married, I lovingly suggest that everyone consider getting married in one of them. This is my reasoning.

1) You're probably less likely to conflict with other peoples' weddings. If those other couples are friends, your mutual friends would not have to choose between the two of you. You, in turn, would not have to miss out on any important weddings.

2) You're less likely to have your invitation get lost in a mass of invitations. As much as people love you and want to attend, you don't want to become a number (ex. "Jeff and Sarah, wedding #5, check!").

3) Presents! If you're the only one getting married in that obscure month, you're probably more likely to get a more awesome gift, on account'a your guests will be more financially secure because they're not buying 20 wedding gifts that month. (This one seems a bit vain, but it makes sense, right?)

4) Last but not least, you're probably less likely to have a stressed out florist, caterer, planner, etc. During the wedding season, all of the above are busy not only working YOUR wedding, but they're probably dealing with multiple weddings, which can cause stress and anxiety. Your wedding day is stressful enough, you don't want to add to it by having a baker go berserk! This also applies to bridesmaids and family members. Everyone's got lives outside of your wedding, and that life may consist of OTHER weddings.

I know June and July are dream months, and seem more convenient than others because it's the end of the school year. I understand that more than anyone. So, I'm not discouraging people from choosing these months for their weddings, I'm simply encouraging them to consider the other months. And please don't stop sending me invites because of this stance, I love you all and feel incredibly honored to be considered important enough to attend one of the most important days of your life. I'm just trying to help you think outside the box a little and help make your wedding day the best it can be:) You're always a beautiful bride no matter what month in which you get married, so tell those crazy faces from the movie to shove it!

P.S. Watch out for the Christmas season, people can pretty much tear that month up too!

Top 3: Worst Jobs at a Wedding

I have performed every kind of job possible in a wedding. I have been a flower girl, a bridesmaid, the punch server, you name it. But here, I compile the Top 3 Worst Jobs at a wedding. (Keep in mind, this is from my own personal experiences, other people may have a different opinion.) Also, as a note, if you have asked me to do one of these jobs in the past, I do not hate you or resent you in any way. Nor do I refuse to ever do these jobs in the future. It's your day, any thing I can do to help, I will:)                

The #3 WORST Job at a wedding is: GUESTBOOK KEEPER.
   Now, before you flip out and think "how hard is it to stand there and watch people sign a book?!" let me elaborate. The job of a Guestbook Keeper can go one of two ways: 1) You can stand there, watching experienced wedding goers who know what to do sign the book, and feel unnecessary and bored out of your mind; or 2) You can be frustrated because the line isn't going fast enough and the people behind them are getting impatient (it's happened to me several times).
  These days, people have come up with many new ideas to revolutionize the Wedding Guestbook. Some couples have their guests sign a picture frame encasing a picture of the lovely couples themselves. I recently attended (and served as Guestbook Keeper at) a wedding where the bride and groom had each guest sign a quilt square, to be afterward turned into a quilt to commemorate their wedding day. These ideas are wonderful and creative. The only issue with these ideas is that guests take a much longer time gathering their thoughts, making sure the pen or marker is working (which, inevitably, it won't), and write a beautiful DISSERTATION over how excited they are for the couple. As Guestbook Keeper, this can get a little stressful, seeing as how the people behind the literary poet or critic just want to sign their names and sit down. And because you are the nearest wedding official, the guests assumed that you made the inadequate pen or marker and ask you what you can do about it...the answer is usually "nothing."

The #2 Worst Job at a wedding is: CAKE CUTTER.
Below, I have an example of a typical, modern, wedding cake. It is beautiful, elegant and really delicious to eat. The only problem is, IT'S SUCH AN AWKWARD SHAPE!

It's not like a sheet cake, where you need only to make little squares across the top. With this cake, there's a certain way it MUST be  cut.
    Now we all know the guests come for the cake. Of course they love you and they enjoy watching you take one of the most important steps of your life, but all they're really thinking about as they sit through your hour long ceremony is "I can't wait to get the heck outta here and ruin my diet on cake!" This being the case, people are very particular when it comes to their slices of wedding cake. That fact makes a Cake Cutter's job very intense. In my experiences, I've cut the slice too small (making the guest angry); in other cases, I've cut it too large (making the caterer angry, not to mention the guest who saw "that other guy's slice" and want one just as big); and the worst scenario of all is when the cake falls apart as I cut it, leaving a huge glob of cake-like substance on someone's plate. You would think no one would mind since it's all going to the same place, but for some reason wedding guests want to eat their cake while it's still "pretty." *SHRUG*

The #1 Worst Job at a wedding is: CANDLE LIGHTER.
I think you all know what I'm talking about when I mention "The Candle Lighter" job at a wedding. It involves marching down the aisle with a long, torch-like device and lighting a ridiculous number of candles in an even more ridiculously elaborate candle stand. Below, I have a small example of such a stand (take this image and add more candles to where the stand would be 7 feet tall and 4 feet wide.)

Fortunately,  candle lighting is rarely part of weddings nowadays, but growing up I saw it a lot.  For those who have never had this job, let me describe to you the thoughts running through a Candle Lighter's head. First of all, we don't want to light the candle sculpture any more than you want to watch us do it. We know that you drove a long way to get to the wedding and would rather it be over so you can grab your CAKE and go home. Secondly, the sculpture is wicked daunting, because we know that at least 10 out of the 27 candles are not going to light the first time around, and 4 out of the 10 won't light the second or third time around. So we're standing on the stage, in frustration, because the candles won't light, the bride is ready to go and the guests are glaring at us, waiting for us to screw up and wishing we weren't even there. By the time we've given up and walked off the stage, the audience is already against us, and inevitably someone is gonna come up to us afterward and say something like, "Man, you sure had a hard time with that fifth candle didn't ya?" Or even, "Was it necessary for you to light those DURING the ceremony? Why couldn't you have lighted those before?"
Yes, people, WE KNOW we were a waste of time, no need to rub it in our faces.

Bonus:
In honor of my roommate, Angela, I am going to add a bonus Job to our list. BRIDESMAID. Personally, I don't mind being a bridesmaid, but it is a very difficult job. Even the GOOD brides can have stressful weddings and the bridesmaids will pay dearly: financially and emotionally. There will always be one more shower to pay for, a dress size to maintain and one night's less sleep to catch up on. Of course, it all comes with the territory and we want to make sure the bride has the wedding of her dreams, but there's no denying it can be a stressful job.

SO, the moral of this story is, be nice to the people who are serving in a wedding! So what if your slice of cake wasn't as gorgeous as it was when it was attached to the rest of the cake? Say "thank you" and move on. And don't ever cross a Candle Lighter, it's not their fault if the bride and groom want to waste time during their ceremony, and it's never wise to tick off someone in control of fire!

From the Womb, to a Wedding.

When I tell people how many weddings I've been to, I get asked two questions. The first question I am asked is, "Are you a crasher?" The answer to this question is, "Nope!" Each wedding I have gone to in my life has been legitimate. I do not "crash," or "join in," or "accidentally walk into the wrong place." I genuinely get invited. The question to follow this is, "HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW?!" The answer? "A lot."

Of course I cannot take all the credit for my through-the-roof wedding attendance. Much of this fact is credited to my father being a preacher. Most of the weddings I attended before the age of 10 have been weddings my dad has performed. Of course,  as an adorable red headed girl with an affinity for fairy tales, I quickly realized how good such good friends weddings and I would become. (I also credit/blame Rajena McDowell for repeatedly renting "Sleeping Beauty" for me as a child, and my parents for making me sing "Part of Your World" from "The Little Mermaid" nonstop.)

From the womb, I was all about the fairy tale and I was all about the party! So obviously, it was love at first sight for me and weddings. I am going to try to update this blog on a weekly basis (because daily isn't very realistic.) In it I will tell stories of past weddings, share my thoughts about said weddings and possibly even rant about aspects I do not appreciate. Hope you enjoy!