Please Don't Stop the Music...jk! End it NOW!

Hey all! It's Christmas break so I thought I'd take the opportunity to update my wedding blog and, boy, do I have material;) I've been to multiple weddings since last I posted and have thought a lot about what I would like to address next and I think I've found the proper theme...wedding music.

I recently went to a family wedding where my father (the officiator of the wedding) made the statement, "I told [the groom] that these favorite songs of yours seem short and awesome whenever you're in the car, but they become an eternity the moment you put them in your wedding ceremony." Well spoken, dad!

The number of songs in your wedding can set the tone for the moment, but you're going to learn almost immediately that it will also draw out time you would much rather pass by quickly. After all, lighting the unity candle takes, approximately, 10 seconds (depending on how stubborn your candle is). The rest of the song is spent standing awkwardly, trying to find something to bide your time while everyone is staring at you. Everyone who's been to or in a wedding knows what I'm saying.

Brides and grooms always seem to comment about how they don't know what to do with the 2 minutes and 45 seconds of the song they used to complete a certain task (it ends up feeling like 20 minutes). Audience members, likewise, don't know what to do. They can only think of how cute the couple is for so long, then they start thinking about the cake and how much time is standing between them and that goal. (I know I mention guests thinking of cake a lot but those free of this experience, cast the first stone!)

Does this post mean I think wedding songs are bad ideas? Not at all. But like all things, it must have meaning and moderation. I have been to weddings involving twenty-billion songs (exaggeration, but you know what I mean) when only two of them have a purpose (roses to mothers, slideshows or unity candle stuff). The rest of the songs were just for funsies, but ended up being no fun for anyone.

So what's the rule of thumb? Well, not counting the songs used for escorting the bridal party in and out (sidenote: be careful with transitions, using too many songs for different people in the party can be tricky) I would say one or two songs are appropriate. Any more than that is ludicrous. Personally, I think cutting songs short is not a bad idea, just make sure it's done properly. My own opinion is that one song should be used during the ceremony. Something short and meaningful to the bride and groom. I'm not just speaking as a serial wedding guest, I'm speaking on behalf of brides and grooms who have gone through this, you'll thank me later.

Another thing to consider is propriety in the choice of music. Though it's a joke in my family, I have no intention of using "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard in my wedding...you shouldn't either. Please remember that your mother, God and your mee-maw (Sheldon Cooper reference) are in the audience and--despite what you might think--they really DO care about the references you make in their presence. So please keep it meaningful but appropriate.

What I want more than anything is for the bride and groom to make their wedding all they want it to be! I write this blog, once again, to help, not to criticize. Choose the music that defines you and you couldn't do without on your special day. But do realize there are other things to consider, like timing and sanity, for your guests but especially YOU. Until the next time, have an amazing wedding:)

My Dream Wedding (the Wedding to End All Weddings) and What It's Gonna Cost Me.

I know it's been a while since I last updated this blog, but I haven't had a lot of time to dedicate to it (however, do not make the mistake of thinking I don't have plenty of material:). I felt led this morning to share something God has put on my heart concerning weddings. Now, before you get confused, this post is not a typical "opinionated"articulation of what I think of weddings. It's more of an open-hearted confession and "working out of salvation" and faith. Be ye warned!

As much as I'm known for my wedding attendance, I'm also known for my dreams; and last night, I had one that rocked me.


I had a dream that I was standing in front of a full-length mirror in an empty room. I was wearing a wedding dress I had seen the day before in a friend's online wedding album and after being attended by this friend I was left alone in the room. I was admiring the dress I was wearing and (I can honestly say) humbly admiring myself in it. After a few moments of emotional wonder and satisfaction at what I knew would be the day dreams came true, I looked in the reflection and noticed someone standing in the doorway. Without being able to give an accurate description (because there frankly isn't one), I knew it was Jesus. He was smiling at me, in a loving and proud manner, but with a countenance that said, "Follow me." I, with a few moments of pause and reflection, stepped out of the dress, took off the veil and followed Him out the door.

Needless to say, I awoke this morning blown away.

To clarify, I wanna describe what I mean by His "follow me" look, because in that moment, I knew exactly what He was asking me to do. In the New Testament, when Jesus asked someone to follow Him, it was never as simple as taking a stroll with Him. When Jesus asked people to follow Him, it was symbolic of leaving everything behind, abandoning your ownership of self and going where He went. We see this in Matthew 8 with the teacher of the Law, pledging himself to Jesus but wanting to go take care of his family after his father's death. Jesus' response was, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own." (Matthew 8:22) We see it with the rich, young ruler in Luke 18 when Jesus tells him in order to follow Him, he must give up everything he owns and dedicate himself fully to Christ. Of course, we also see it in the calling of His disciples as Jesus walks up to them in their daily routines, says "follow me" and they drop everything immediately.

Jesus was not asking these men to hate their families, their careers and their comfort, at least not in the way we view hate. He asked them to give it up for His glory's sake, to love Him so much more than all that it can be seen as hatred (just like He was asking me to give up what I was doing.) That if they truly wanted to share in His glory, they had to share in His sacrifice. They were called to drop dreams, goals, provision and loved ones in order to give themselves fully over to His glory.

A few months ago, I went through a study with my roommates and a few other friends called The Basics by Francis Chan. We spent a few weeks dedicated to the idea of the cost of following Christ. During this time, we meditated on the following passage.
        
   Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If  
    anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, 
    brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my 
    disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my  
    disciple. “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down 
    and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if   
    you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will 
    ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

    “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first 

    sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose 

    the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will 

    send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms 

    of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you 

    have cannot be my disciples. 

                —Luke 14:25-33

  After reading these words of Jesus, the question was posed, what is YOUR cost of following Christ? Before deciding to follow Christ, we need to count the cost like a tower building or a warring king. As John Piper points out in his sermon, "The Radical Cost of Following Christ," each person seems to have a different sacrifice to make. The rich, young ruler was asked to give all his money (whereas, Jesus was satisfied with Zacchaeus only giving 50%), the potential disciple was asked to give up his family and the twelve were asked to give up their jobs and futures.


SO, BACK TO THE DREAM! (I know you were waiting to get back to that!) In the dream, Jesus asked me to give up what every girl dreams of, her wedding day. I knew it the moment I saw Him, and at that moment, I had to count up the cost. Jesus was asking me to love Him and desire Him more than the idea of being married, but not just marriage itself. He was asking me to put aside my need for human love, romantic love and the idea of being needed and physically satisfied (because extroverts get their energy through external sources, this doesn't just refer to sex.) It was at that moment, that I had to trust that if I could not have those things, God would replace them with Himself and that it would be worth it. And isn't that the problem? 


We, as Christians, want to pledge our lives to Christ, to sacrifice all for Him and do so with zeal...at the beginning. But when it comes down to it, don't we all wonder if it's truly gonna be worth it? I'm not speaking hypothetically, I'm speaking literally because it's something I've been struggling with lately. After Christ asks the ruler to give up His wealth, He makes some shady-sounding statements about  the impossibility of salvation to man and sacrifice without Christ, that causes Peter to explode in frustration, "WE HAVE LEFT ALL WE HAD TO FOLLOW YOU!" In other words, "I gave up everything, now you're saying we've been following you for nothing?!" However, Jesus replies, Truly I tell you, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or  parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life. (Luke 18:29-30) 
Jesus says, "Peter! It's worth it! Trust me!"


The question is, do I trust God? Do I trust God with this marriage business? Do I trust Him with my loneliness? Do I trust Him with my friendships?


The thing I feel I need to point out here is that sometimes, God takes away, just give things back. Many times, I've sacrificed things in my walk with Christ, only to have Him hand them back in a way that glorifies Him better, and I've seen Him do it in my family. Years ago, I cried on my bedroom floor, telling God that I gave up my desire to see the world...only to get into college and be allowed to spend my summers in different parts of the country, glorifying Him in planted churches. My dad was asked to give up his passion and goals in teaching and coaching basketball for full-time ministry...and was allowed to start outreach basketball camps for kids and become involved in the local school's athletic department as an assistant coach and announcer.


God may not ask me to give up the wedding dress permanently, but He wants me to be willing if it brings Him the most glory. For different people, it may be different things: Marriage in general; certain relationships; maybe even the types of relationships we desire to have.* But the thing is, God also wants us to know we're not sacrificing in vain. As much as I may want a wedding, I've never been guaranteed an earthly wedding, and (totally paraphrasing a more complexly-worded statement by Jonathan Edwards) God is under no obligation to fulfill promises we've made up for Him.


However, I am guaranteed a wedding, that will outshine any wedding I've been to (since we all know I've been to a lot!) The Bible refers to Jesus as many things: Shepherd, Physician, Lamb, etc. But one certain description is husband. A believer's relationship to Jesus is not just a business transaction, or king and subject, but a relationship of Bride to her Groom. He is not only walking us down the aisle, He is the one we walk toward. And the description of our wedding is out of this world:


  One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues  
  came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”  
  And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and 
  showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. It 
  shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious 
  jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. —Revelation 21:9-11


Obviously, there's more to it than the extremely small excerpt, but that—in itself—is an amazing description.


So, once again, the difficulty lies with the questions "What's this great wedding gonna cost me?" and "Do I think it'll be worth it?" I can't completely answer that. I still struggle with trusting God with the journey (since He's assured me the destination); and I've been made very aware that it will cost me everything. But I pray that as I grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, I'll not only step reluctantly out of the dress, but jump and run! Pray for me:)


*I forbid ANYONE from using this post as an excuse to break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. God gets enough unnecessary blame for that

9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche--Article From Yahoo!

I got onto Yahoo! today and noticed an article on 9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche. I thought I would share. Let me know what you think of these well-intentioned, yet overused ideas.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/bad-wedding-cliches-born-from-good-ideas-2529171/

My next post will reveal MY opinions on these traditions. Stay posted!!

Dress of the Season: A Wedding Girl's Confession

The new Duchess of Cambridge, formerly known as Kate Middleton, just got reprimanded for wearing a "recycled dress" to her cousin-in-law's wedding. Apparently, it is a big "no-no" to re-wear an outfit to a social event, specifically weddings. However, I will confess with no shame that I too have "recycled dresses" for weddings. As someone who attends many weddings throughout the wedding season, it is very inconvenient to find multiple outfits for multiple weddings. And since no one really looks at the guests anyway (except in the cases in which celebrities are being married) I have no qualms about picking out one outfit to wear to each wedding I go to during the wedding season.

Every year, I have what I call the "Dress of the Season." It's the one outfit (usually my Easter dress) that I wear to a majority of the weddings that summer, if not ALL of them. Some may call this practice "tacky," some may call it "laziness," but I call it "genius." Assuming men read my blog, I know they would stand behind me on this. Who wants to worry about which shoes to wear or how to fix your hair EVERY WEEKEND? This way, you find one dress, one pair of shoes and one hairstyle that goes well together, and you're set for the summer! Of course, the downside to this technique (if you consider this a downside) is that you look the same in every wedding photo you take that summer. I, myself, don't care about that, but if it is considered taboo in your circle, there are plenty of ways to spice it up. You can add or take away accessories to give it more diversity, like putting a shawl over the dress or putting a flower in your hair. Not to mention, it saves the wallet some trouble because you'll only need to buy one outfit.

My standards for a "Dress of the Season" are as follows:
1) It must flatter you! Find a dress you look good and feel good in. You never know how many single groomsmen there will be at the blessed event. Who knows, you might get blessed ;)

2) It must be wedding appropriate. Remember that your friends, family, friends' families, children and God will be in attendance at this wedding. Keep it kosher, people!

3) You must be able to dance in it. That short, skimpy dress may look good on you when you're standing in the room like a mannequin, but if a guy asks you to dance to Usher's "Yeah!" you're not gonna be lookin so hott as you're pulling on it to make sure the bride's Uncle Carl doesn't get an eye full. (Read standard two to be reminded of this idea.)

Finding that perfect dress for the wedding season is not hard. Just find one you love! Feel free to go back through my Facebook photos and view my dresses from the past (since I know you probably already have just because you may not have noticed before.) There's no shame in being convenient and thrifty! For those who have a problem with this practice, don't judge me.

Mythbusters! Mysteries of the Bouquet Unlocked

The bouquet from the Johnson wedding:)

It's been a few weeks since my last post but now I'm back! Today, I'd like to address one of the oldest of wedding traditions, the tossing of the bridal bouquet. For centuries brides have been throwing their bouquets with the hope that their marital happiness would be spread to the lucky single lady who caught it. Even today, in modern weddings, single ladies still fight over the charmed item.

The tradition of the bridal bouquet supposedly started in France in the 14th century. It was considered lucky if a wedding guest got a piece of the bride's clothing or wedding paraphernalia. Of course that got pretty unorganized and fairly dangerous for the bride (imagine everyone at your wedding running toward you like you were the last golden ticket) so they decided to take one item, call it lucky and set up a time where it could be open game for all. They even decided to go as far as to split the groups into guys and girls by including a garter catching contest. (Yay for organized fun!) But the question remains, does the bouquet really bring love and marriage to the catcher?

In my experience, the answer is no. In the past 10 or 11 years, I have caught nine bridal bouquets. Let me repeat that number, NINE. I don't remember specifics of the weddings at which I caught these bouquets but I can definitely name a few of the couples: Brandey and Dino Fine,  Amber and Dustin Coble, Tasha and Ephraim Mathis and Becka and Dustin Johnson. (Those are just a few, it's been a long decade;) Seeing as how I am still a single woman, and I have quite a few bouquets under my belt, I would definitely say the legend of the bouquet is a...MYTH!

Now, it has been suggested to me by quite a few people that the legend might be overthrown or even reversed by the amount of times I've caught bouquets. That is, once I've passed a certain number, the luck actually becomes a curse, and I will remain single longer. I'm not sure how true that is, but I do know the bouquet doesn't always come with a husband, at least in my experience.

Before readers start throwing rocks at me and claiming that I'm a Scrooge, let me clarify. I'm only telling of my experiences with the bouquet legend. I'm not trying to crush dreams like running around telling kids there's no Santa, or pulling a Joe Montana and debunking America's favorite Cinderella story (Rudy!).  The tradition of throwing the bridal bouquet is fun and I enjoy the "what ifs" and competition of it. (Why do you think I kept participating?) And who knows? Maybe 10 will be my lucky number. All I'm saying is don't get too down hearted over a supposed tradition. If it's God's will that you get married, it'll happen. And no floral decor is going to influence Him either way!

I will now answer the question that follows when telling people about all my bouquets, "What the heck do you do with all those bouquets?!" The answer's pretty simple. If they're real, I either give them away (there's always a flower girl who would love to have flowers:), or I take them home and use them as decorations til they die.  For the others, the fake ones, I usually give them away or eventually toss em. I do, however, still have one bouquet in my room that I use for decoration, the one in the picture above. Flowers make everything a little better. So even if you don't get a husband, your day's still a little brighter by getting to witness one of God's greatest expressions of love, His beauty reflected in His creation. So ladies, play on! Next time you go to a wedding, compete. And when you catch a bouquet, think of me and imagine me patting you on the back saying, "Well done!" Maybe I'll be competing for YOUR bouquet not long after, God willing ;)

My Top 5 Favorite Weddings/Wedding Memories

It's been called to my attention that while I've tried to use this blog to be informative and entertaining, I've spent most of my time telling my readers the things I HATE about weddings, without giving much insight into what I LOVE about weddings. This was not my intention but as I look back at past posts, I realize how true that statement is. That is why I plan on focusing my next few posts on what I love about weddings.

In this post, I would like to mention my top 5 favorite weddings/ wedding memories. Of course, this is a difficult feat seeing as how I can't remember EVERY wedding I've ever attended. But I have narrowed it down to the first five that popped into my head. I have tried to include pictures for enjoyment purposes but some weddings took place pre-Mark Zuckerberg's big break so I have no access to them. (If you read this and wonder why your wedding is not on the list, I apologize. This post is no indication of how I feel about you or your wedding.)


#5 Toni McDowell and Travis Laney
 I have known Toni McDowell my entire life. She was my baby sitter at a young age and a close friend of the family since before I was born. Her wedding meant a lot to me, not only because she is one of my longest and closest friends but it was the first wedding I got to dance at. Growing up, the weddings I attended were held in churches so there was no dancing at the reception and, quite frankly, that was still in the time when dancing was considered "a sin" in most Southern Baptist churches. However, at the age of 14, I got to DANCE at Toni McDowell's wedding. I just remember it being the most fun I'd ever had at a wedding and I've never forgotten the excitement.


#4 Monica Hong and Shaun Stotyn
For those of you who know me well, you know that I have spent quite a bit of time in the beautiful state of Vermont! I first went to Vermont in 2006 when I spent the summer working for a church plant. It was then I first met Monica Hong and Shaun Stotyn. I immediately became good friends with both of them as individuals and spent plenty of time getting to hang out with them throughout the whole summer. I went again in the summer of 2008, continuing to grow my friendship with both and through all that time the two of them were just friends (and quite frankly, they got on each other's nerves a lot;) Then, all of a sudden, something happened. I was back in Oklahoma and, through casual conversation with Monica over a year ago, found out that she and Shaun were....DATING! Of course I was shocked but was thrilled that the next year I would get to fly back to Vermont to witness two of my best friends marry each other. It was an amazing wedding and it meant so much to get to be there for it. Two people, who had meant so much to me as individuals were finding a life partner in each other. It was such a blessing to see. Not to mention, I got to go back to my second home and witness their union with my second church family, it was almost like I never left. I don't think I'll ever forget how special it was to me.

Me and "Shun" (He's Canadian *shrug*)

Monica and I :)

#3 Cathryn Good and Travis Jackson
Cat Good was my best friend in high school and living proof that a feminist could fall in love! All throughout high school, Cat was determined to never marry and live her life the way she wanted. At that point we were complete opposites and even though she played the role of supportive friend, I knew she found my desire to get married a little ridiculous and annoying. However, Cat never imagined that she could fall so hard, so quickly until she met Travis Jackson in college. After she met him, it was all over; she knew she would marry him and wanted to do so as soon as humanly possible. I was fortunate enough to be her bridesmaid and still feel so honored that I got to be a part of that day. I've never seen a wedding with so much of the bride's personality thrown into. Her decorations fit her, and the service was completely lighthearted and comedic! I loved every minute of it. It also taught me a very important lesson, God's will is above our own. We can fight him, like we fight love, all we want; but when He calls us, we can't help but become putty in His hands. Even though I might put up a fight, one day I'll find that guy and I won't stand a chance at winning that battle. Thanks Cat Jackson for unknowingly teaching me that. :)

Lauren, Cat and I at Cat's wedding:)

#2 Jennifer Petete and Michael Garner

The wedding in which my sweet cousin Jennifer married my awesome cousin-in-law Michael is one of my favorite weddings of all time. Not only was I excited about my cousin getting to marry the man we all knew God had in mind for her, but my whole family was there! Every member of the Petete clan was in attendance and it was one of the last times we have all been together in the same place, that I can remember. (Inevitably, at least 1 person can't make it for a holiday.) It was the first wedding I had attended where the bride and groom took all the pictures before the wedding so they could be present at the entire reception, inspiring me to one day do the same. Not to mention, they had the best groom's cake that I've ever had in my life, (and I've had quite a few!) This wedding was also special because it was the day we met Chris Hardin, my cousin Mandy's husband. He came to the wedding so that he could meet us all, and asked us individually if he could marry Mandy (as far as I know, Mandy had no clue he was doing this.) So not only did I get ONE great cousin-in-law to take care of my precious cousins, I was getting TWO! It was a very special day:)

#1 Jayme Petete and Kenny Reinbold
My #1 favorite wedding memory of all time comes from my cousin Jayme's wedding (younger sister of #2 wedding bride.) The wedding was wonderful and I was so proud to be a bridesmaid at the wedding Jayme and I had talked about our entire lives. However, my favorite part of the wedding had nothing to do with the ceremony. If you go back to wedding #5 you'll remember that growing up I wasn't allowed to dance and that dancing was regarded as "a sin." As I got older, things had changed a bit, everyone was ok with dancing...except my dad. Dad was always convicted that dancing was something he shouldn't take part in and so for most of my life, I figured I'd never have a father/daughter dance at my wedding, and like every wedding before, I figured I wouldn't have one at Jayme and Kenny's wedding either.

When I got to the Reinbold reception, my mom took me aside and told me to ask dad to dance. My response was, "No way!" It's hard enough being rejected by all the single guys in the room, it's even worse being rejected by your own dad, lol! I also told her I respected dad's leading to abstain from dancing as a way of sanctification and refused to push him to do anything he didn't believe in. However, mom kept emphasizing that I REALLY needed to ask dad to dance. Of course I continued to avoid asking him, until a slow song came on and he asked me. I was completely surprised and honestly had no idea how to react. We danced at least two songs together and I knew he could tell I wanted to cry. I had always hoped to be able to dance with my dad and finally, after years of trying to persuade him, he finally asked me to dance. After that, I didn't care how many single guys were in the room nor did I  wonder how many invitations to dance I'd receive. All that mattered is that I finally got to dance with my dream dance partner. My dad.

Me and dad dancing

My favorite picture of us, ever!

"Do I HAVE To Choose A Side?"

In a traditional wedding, it is customary for the bride's family and friends to sit on the side she stands on, likewise for the groom's family and friends. For example, the bride is usually to the left of the groom, therefore the bride's loved ones sit on the left side of the church. I have heard multiple reasons for this tradition.

1) Back in the day, a marriage was a political union, and depending on how rich the bride was, it was a well-guarded ceremony. The groom was placed on the right of the bride as a defensive strategy, so that if the bride's life (or we could say, "his investment") was at stake, he, his groomsmen and the rest of his posse could easily access their weapons and attack. I would LOVE to see a dramatization of this scenario at a wedding today, complete with an "attack," forcing a sword fight to ensue!

2) The other reason for this tradition is to symbolize the idea that a bride and groom's loved ones are behind them, supporting them in their decision. It also symbolizes their future support of the couple's marriage.

Now, the real issue today is, "Do I HAVE to choose a side?" More than likely, no swashbuckling pirates are going to disrupt the ceremony, looking to strike the couple down with swords. And one of the biggest complaints I hear from wedding guests is that they want to see their loved one's face as he/she takes his/her vows and sitting behind them prevents this privilege. Another issue with this tradition is the scenario in which a guest is equally close to both the bride and groom. What then? When the usher asks "bride or groom" do you start going back through your history with both to determine which one you're closest to? "I met Jeff in May, but we didn't become good friends until after Jane and I hit it off in July;" or, "I've known them both my whole life but I once dated Lauren's brother and it didn't end well, so does that mean there's a slight rift between us?"

Luckily, some modern couples have come up with solutions to these issues. A few weddings I've been to have not been divisive in seating arrangements. The couple has told the ushers not to bother asking which side a guest would prefer, but simply where they would like to sit. This way, the guest can choose that perfect spot for that photo opportunity or to get a good view of the person they would like to see.

One strategy I have grown to LOVE is when the preacher stands on the floor during the ceremony, while the bride and groom stand on the stage. This way, the couple will still be looking to the preacher for guidance but are also facing the guests, making their faces and expressions available to be viewed and photographed throughout the wedding. Everyone wants to see the looks on the bride's face as she becomes a wife. And nobody wants to miss the look on the groom's face when he pledges his life to his new bride. Not to mention, the KISS! This way, everyone wins.

So for those future wedding guests out there who are still facing the dilemma of "which side should I choose" my solution to you is, grab a friend and play "Rock, Paper, Scissors." That's how I deal decisions in MY life!

7 Brides for 7 Brothers and How it Affected My Summers

I remember when I was a little girl, I was obsessed with musicals! I loved the fact that people could randomly break out in song and choreographed dance and it was perfectly acceptable. (I attempt it now and people judge me.) But one musical I fell in love with at an early age was Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. I remember the first time I watched the scene where the women are standing around in their captors' room and begin to sing the song "June Bride." For those who have never watched this movie or seen it performed, the repeated lyrics of this song are, "They say when you marry in June, you'll always be a bride." I knew, right then, this philosophy would have a major effect on my life...and so it did.

For those who don't know me that well and wonder how I know so much about weddings, let me just take this summer for example. This summer, alone, I have already attended four weddings, have two more coming up, and at least three weddings I cannot attend because they were scheduled at the same time as another wedding and I had to make a choice. (That's not counting any last minute invitations I might receive in the future.) My June and July are PACKED FULL of weddings. Obviously, there were quite a few little girls who watched Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and caught the same philosophy those girls were dishing out to the public.

I want to make it clear, I am not complaining. I adore weddings and wish I could attend everyone's; however, because Milly and her homegirls brainwashed us all into thinking the only acceptable months to get married are June and July, I'm not able to oblige. This is my proposal: there are 10 other months in the year to get married, I lovingly suggest that everyone consider getting married in one of them. This is my reasoning.

1) You're probably less likely to conflict with other peoples' weddings. If those other couples are friends, your mutual friends would not have to choose between the two of you. You, in turn, would not have to miss out on any important weddings.

2) You're less likely to have your invitation get lost in a mass of invitations. As much as people love you and want to attend, you don't want to become a number (ex. "Jeff and Sarah, wedding #5, check!").

3) Presents! If you're the only one getting married in that obscure month, you're probably more likely to get a more awesome gift, on account'a your guests will be more financially secure because they're not buying 20 wedding gifts that month. (This one seems a bit vain, but it makes sense, right?)

4) Last but not least, you're probably less likely to have a stressed out florist, caterer, planner, etc. During the wedding season, all of the above are busy not only working YOUR wedding, but they're probably dealing with multiple weddings, which can cause stress and anxiety. Your wedding day is stressful enough, you don't want to add to it by having a baker go berserk! This also applies to bridesmaids and family members. Everyone's got lives outside of your wedding, and that life may consist of OTHER weddings.

I know June and July are dream months, and seem more convenient than others because it's the end of the school year. I understand that more than anyone. So, I'm not discouraging people from choosing these months for their weddings, I'm simply encouraging them to consider the other months. And please don't stop sending me invites because of this stance, I love you all and feel incredibly honored to be considered important enough to attend one of the most important days of your life. I'm just trying to help you think outside the box a little and help make your wedding day the best it can be:) You're always a beautiful bride no matter what month in which you get married, so tell those crazy faces from the movie to shove it!

P.S. Watch out for the Christmas season, people can pretty much tear that month up too!

Top 3: Worst Jobs at a Wedding

I have performed every kind of job possible in a wedding. I have been a flower girl, a bridesmaid, the punch server, you name it. But here, I compile the Top 3 Worst Jobs at a wedding. (Keep in mind, this is from my own personal experiences, other people may have a different opinion.) Also, as a note, if you have asked me to do one of these jobs in the past, I do not hate you or resent you in any way. Nor do I refuse to ever do these jobs in the future. It's your day, any thing I can do to help, I will:)                

The #3 WORST Job at a wedding is: GUESTBOOK KEEPER.
   Now, before you flip out and think "how hard is it to stand there and watch people sign a book?!" let me elaborate. The job of a Guestbook Keeper can go one of two ways: 1) You can stand there, watching experienced wedding goers who know what to do sign the book, and feel unnecessary and bored out of your mind; or 2) You can be frustrated because the line isn't going fast enough and the people behind them are getting impatient (it's happened to me several times).
  These days, people have come up with many new ideas to revolutionize the Wedding Guestbook. Some couples have their guests sign a picture frame encasing a picture of the lovely couples themselves. I recently attended (and served as Guestbook Keeper at) a wedding where the bride and groom had each guest sign a quilt square, to be afterward turned into a quilt to commemorate their wedding day. These ideas are wonderful and creative. The only issue with these ideas is that guests take a much longer time gathering their thoughts, making sure the pen or marker is working (which, inevitably, it won't), and write a beautiful DISSERTATION over how excited they are for the couple. As Guestbook Keeper, this can get a little stressful, seeing as how the people behind the literary poet or critic just want to sign their names and sit down. And because you are the nearest wedding official, the guests assumed that you made the inadequate pen or marker and ask you what you can do about it...the answer is usually "nothing."

The #2 Worst Job at a wedding is: CAKE CUTTER.
Below, I have an example of a typical, modern, wedding cake. It is beautiful, elegant and really delicious to eat. The only problem is, IT'S SUCH AN AWKWARD SHAPE!

It's not like a sheet cake, where you need only to make little squares across the top. With this cake, there's a certain way it MUST be  cut.
    Now we all know the guests come for the cake. Of course they love you and they enjoy watching you take one of the most important steps of your life, but all they're really thinking about as they sit through your hour long ceremony is "I can't wait to get the heck outta here and ruin my diet on cake!" This being the case, people are very particular when it comes to their slices of wedding cake. That fact makes a Cake Cutter's job very intense. In my experiences, I've cut the slice too small (making the guest angry); in other cases, I've cut it too large (making the caterer angry, not to mention the guest who saw "that other guy's slice" and want one just as big); and the worst scenario of all is when the cake falls apart as I cut it, leaving a huge glob of cake-like substance on someone's plate. You would think no one would mind since it's all going to the same place, but for some reason wedding guests want to eat their cake while it's still "pretty." *SHRUG*

The #1 Worst Job at a wedding is: CANDLE LIGHTER.
I think you all know what I'm talking about when I mention "The Candle Lighter" job at a wedding. It involves marching down the aisle with a long, torch-like device and lighting a ridiculous number of candles in an even more ridiculously elaborate candle stand. Below, I have a small example of such a stand (take this image and add more candles to where the stand would be 7 feet tall and 4 feet wide.)

Fortunately,  candle lighting is rarely part of weddings nowadays, but growing up I saw it a lot.  For those who have never had this job, let me describe to you the thoughts running through a Candle Lighter's head. First of all, we don't want to light the candle sculpture any more than you want to watch us do it. We know that you drove a long way to get to the wedding and would rather it be over so you can grab your CAKE and go home. Secondly, the sculpture is wicked daunting, because we know that at least 10 out of the 27 candles are not going to light the first time around, and 4 out of the 10 won't light the second or third time around. So we're standing on the stage, in frustration, because the candles won't light, the bride is ready to go and the guests are glaring at us, waiting for us to screw up and wishing we weren't even there. By the time we've given up and walked off the stage, the audience is already against us, and inevitably someone is gonna come up to us afterward and say something like, "Man, you sure had a hard time with that fifth candle didn't ya?" Or even, "Was it necessary for you to light those DURING the ceremony? Why couldn't you have lighted those before?"
Yes, people, WE KNOW we were a waste of time, no need to rub it in our faces.

Bonus:
In honor of my roommate, Angela, I am going to add a bonus Job to our list. BRIDESMAID. Personally, I don't mind being a bridesmaid, but it is a very difficult job. Even the GOOD brides can have stressful weddings and the bridesmaids will pay dearly: financially and emotionally. There will always be one more shower to pay for, a dress size to maintain and one night's less sleep to catch up on. Of course, it all comes with the territory and we want to make sure the bride has the wedding of her dreams, but there's no denying it can be a stressful job.

SO, the moral of this story is, be nice to the people who are serving in a wedding! So what if your slice of cake wasn't as gorgeous as it was when it was attached to the rest of the cake? Say "thank you" and move on. And don't ever cross a Candle Lighter, it's not their fault if the bride and groom want to waste time during their ceremony, and it's never wise to tick off someone in control of fire!

From the Womb, to a Wedding.

When I tell people how many weddings I've been to, I get asked two questions. The first question I am asked is, "Are you a crasher?" The answer to this question is, "Nope!" Each wedding I have gone to in my life has been legitimate. I do not "crash," or "join in," or "accidentally walk into the wrong place." I genuinely get invited. The question to follow this is, "HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW?!" The answer? "A lot."

Of course I cannot take all the credit for my through-the-roof wedding attendance. Much of this fact is credited to my father being a preacher. Most of the weddings I attended before the age of 10 have been weddings my dad has performed. Of course,  as an adorable red headed girl with an affinity for fairy tales, I quickly realized how good such good friends weddings and I would become. (I also credit/blame Rajena McDowell for repeatedly renting "Sleeping Beauty" for me as a child, and my parents for making me sing "Part of Your World" from "The Little Mermaid" nonstop.)

From the womb, I was all about the fairy tale and I was all about the party! So obviously, it was love at first sight for me and weddings. I am going to try to update this blog on a weekly basis (because daily isn't very realistic.) In it I will tell stories of past weddings, share my thoughts about said weddings and possibly even rant about aspects I do not appreciate. Hope you enjoy!