9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche--Article From Yahoo!

I got onto Yahoo! today and noticed an article on 9 Bridal Trends That Have Gotten Cliche. I thought I would share. Let me know what you think of these well-intentioned, yet overused ideas.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/bad-wedding-cliches-born-from-good-ideas-2529171/

My next post will reveal MY opinions on these traditions. Stay posted!!

Dress of the Season: A Wedding Girl's Confession

The new Duchess of Cambridge, formerly known as Kate Middleton, just got reprimanded for wearing a "recycled dress" to her cousin-in-law's wedding. Apparently, it is a big "no-no" to re-wear an outfit to a social event, specifically weddings. However, I will confess with no shame that I too have "recycled dresses" for weddings. As someone who attends many weddings throughout the wedding season, it is very inconvenient to find multiple outfits for multiple weddings. And since no one really looks at the guests anyway (except in the cases in which celebrities are being married) I have no qualms about picking out one outfit to wear to each wedding I go to during the wedding season.

Every year, I have what I call the "Dress of the Season." It's the one outfit (usually my Easter dress) that I wear to a majority of the weddings that summer, if not ALL of them. Some may call this practice "tacky," some may call it "laziness," but I call it "genius." Assuming men read my blog, I know they would stand behind me on this. Who wants to worry about which shoes to wear or how to fix your hair EVERY WEEKEND? This way, you find one dress, one pair of shoes and one hairstyle that goes well together, and you're set for the summer! Of course, the downside to this technique (if you consider this a downside) is that you look the same in every wedding photo you take that summer. I, myself, don't care about that, but if it is considered taboo in your circle, there are plenty of ways to spice it up. You can add or take away accessories to give it more diversity, like putting a shawl over the dress or putting a flower in your hair. Not to mention, it saves the wallet some trouble because you'll only need to buy one outfit.

My standards for a "Dress of the Season" are as follows:
1) It must flatter you! Find a dress you look good and feel good in. You never know how many single groomsmen there will be at the blessed event. Who knows, you might get blessed ;)

2) It must be wedding appropriate. Remember that your friends, family, friends' families, children and God will be in attendance at this wedding. Keep it kosher, people!

3) You must be able to dance in it. That short, skimpy dress may look good on you when you're standing in the room like a mannequin, but if a guy asks you to dance to Usher's "Yeah!" you're not gonna be lookin so hott as you're pulling on it to make sure the bride's Uncle Carl doesn't get an eye full. (Read standard two to be reminded of this idea.)

Finding that perfect dress for the wedding season is not hard. Just find one you love! Feel free to go back through my Facebook photos and view my dresses from the past (since I know you probably already have just because you may not have noticed before.) There's no shame in being convenient and thrifty! For those who have a problem with this practice, don't judge me.

Mythbusters! Mysteries of the Bouquet Unlocked

The bouquet from the Johnson wedding:)

It's been a few weeks since my last post but now I'm back! Today, I'd like to address one of the oldest of wedding traditions, the tossing of the bridal bouquet. For centuries brides have been throwing their bouquets with the hope that their marital happiness would be spread to the lucky single lady who caught it. Even today, in modern weddings, single ladies still fight over the charmed item.

The tradition of the bridal bouquet supposedly started in France in the 14th century. It was considered lucky if a wedding guest got a piece of the bride's clothing or wedding paraphernalia. Of course that got pretty unorganized and fairly dangerous for the bride (imagine everyone at your wedding running toward you like you were the last golden ticket) so they decided to take one item, call it lucky and set up a time where it could be open game for all. They even decided to go as far as to split the groups into guys and girls by including a garter catching contest. (Yay for organized fun!) But the question remains, does the bouquet really bring love and marriage to the catcher?

In my experience, the answer is no. In the past 10 or 11 years, I have caught nine bridal bouquets. Let me repeat that number, NINE. I don't remember specifics of the weddings at which I caught these bouquets but I can definitely name a few of the couples: Brandey and Dino Fine,  Amber and Dustin Coble, Tasha and Ephraim Mathis and Becka and Dustin Johnson. (Those are just a few, it's been a long decade;) Seeing as how I am still a single woman, and I have quite a few bouquets under my belt, I would definitely say the legend of the bouquet is a...MYTH!

Now, it has been suggested to me by quite a few people that the legend might be overthrown or even reversed by the amount of times I've caught bouquets. That is, once I've passed a certain number, the luck actually becomes a curse, and I will remain single longer. I'm not sure how true that is, but I do know the bouquet doesn't always come with a husband, at least in my experience.

Before readers start throwing rocks at me and claiming that I'm a Scrooge, let me clarify. I'm only telling of my experiences with the bouquet legend. I'm not trying to crush dreams like running around telling kids there's no Santa, or pulling a Joe Montana and debunking America's favorite Cinderella story (Rudy!).  The tradition of throwing the bridal bouquet is fun and I enjoy the "what ifs" and competition of it. (Why do you think I kept participating?) And who knows? Maybe 10 will be my lucky number. All I'm saying is don't get too down hearted over a supposed tradition. If it's God's will that you get married, it'll happen. And no floral decor is going to influence Him either way!

I will now answer the question that follows when telling people about all my bouquets, "What the heck do you do with all those bouquets?!" The answer's pretty simple. If they're real, I either give them away (there's always a flower girl who would love to have flowers:), or I take them home and use them as decorations til they die.  For the others, the fake ones, I usually give them away or eventually toss em. I do, however, still have one bouquet in my room that I use for decoration, the one in the picture above. Flowers make everything a little better. So even if you don't get a husband, your day's still a little brighter by getting to witness one of God's greatest expressions of love, His beauty reflected in His creation. So ladies, play on! Next time you go to a wedding, compete. And when you catch a bouquet, think of me and imagine me patting you on the back saying, "Well done!" Maybe I'll be competing for YOUR bouquet not long after, God willing ;)

My Top 5 Favorite Weddings/Wedding Memories

It's been called to my attention that while I've tried to use this blog to be informative and entertaining, I've spent most of my time telling my readers the things I HATE about weddings, without giving much insight into what I LOVE about weddings. This was not my intention but as I look back at past posts, I realize how true that statement is. That is why I plan on focusing my next few posts on what I love about weddings.

In this post, I would like to mention my top 5 favorite weddings/ wedding memories. Of course, this is a difficult feat seeing as how I can't remember EVERY wedding I've ever attended. But I have narrowed it down to the first five that popped into my head. I have tried to include pictures for enjoyment purposes but some weddings took place pre-Mark Zuckerberg's big break so I have no access to them. (If you read this and wonder why your wedding is not on the list, I apologize. This post is no indication of how I feel about you or your wedding.)


#5 Toni McDowell and Travis Laney
 I have known Toni McDowell my entire life. She was my baby sitter at a young age and a close friend of the family since before I was born. Her wedding meant a lot to me, not only because she is one of my longest and closest friends but it was the first wedding I got to dance at. Growing up, the weddings I attended were held in churches so there was no dancing at the reception and, quite frankly, that was still in the time when dancing was considered "a sin" in most Southern Baptist churches. However, at the age of 14, I got to DANCE at Toni McDowell's wedding. I just remember it being the most fun I'd ever had at a wedding and I've never forgotten the excitement.


#4 Monica Hong and Shaun Stotyn
For those of you who know me well, you know that I have spent quite a bit of time in the beautiful state of Vermont! I first went to Vermont in 2006 when I spent the summer working for a church plant. It was then I first met Monica Hong and Shaun Stotyn. I immediately became good friends with both of them as individuals and spent plenty of time getting to hang out with them throughout the whole summer. I went again in the summer of 2008, continuing to grow my friendship with both and through all that time the two of them were just friends (and quite frankly, they got on each other's nerves a lot;) Then, all of a sudden, something happened. I was back in Oklahoma and, through casual conversation with Monica over a year ago, found out that she and Shaun were....DATING! Of course I was shocked but was thrilled that the next year I would get to fly back to Vermont to witness two of my best friends marry each other. It was an amazing wedding and it meant so much to get to be there for it. Two people, who had meant so much to me as individuals were finding a life partner in each other. It was such a blessing to see. Not to mention, I got to go back to my second home and witness their union with my second church family, it was almost like I never left. I don't think I'll ever forget how special it was to me.

Me and "Shun" (He's Canadian *shrug*)

Monica and I :)

#3 Cathryn Good and Travis Jackson
Cat Good was my best friend in high school and living proof that a feminist could fall in love! All throughout high school, Cat was determined to never marry and live her life the way she wanted. At that point we were complete opposites and even though she played the role of supportive friend, I knew she found my desire to get married a little ridiculous and annoying. However, Cat never imagined that she could fall so hard, so quickly until she met Travis Jackson in college. After she met him, it was all over; she knew she would marry him and wanted to do so as soon as humanly possible. I was fortunate enough to be her bridesmaid and still feel so honored that I got to be a part of that day. I've never seen a wedding with so much of the bride's personality thrown into. Her decorations fit her, and the service was completely lighthearted and comedic! I loved every minute of it. It also taught me a very important lesson, God's will is above our own. We can fight him, like we fight love, all we want; but when He calls us, we can't help but become putty in His hands. Even though I might put up a fight, one day I'll find that guy and I won't stand a chance at winning that battle. Thanks Cat Jackson for unknowingly teaching me that. :)

Lauren, Cat and I at Cat's wedding:)

#2 Jennifer Petete and Michael Garner

The wedding in which my sweet cousin Jennifer married my awesome cousin-in-law Michael is one of my favorite weddings of all time. Not only was I excited about my cousin getting to marry the man we all knew God had in mind for her, but my whole family was there! Every member of the Petete clan was in attendance and it was one of the last times we have all been together in the same place, that I can remember. (Inevitably, at least 1 person can't make it for a holiday.) It was the first wedding I had attended where the bride and groom took all the pictures before the wedding so they could be present at the entire reception, inspiring me to one day do the same. Not to mention, they had the best groom's cake that I've ever had in my life, (and I've had quite a few!) This wedding was also special because it was the day we met Chris Hardin, my cousin Mandy's husband. He came to the wedding so that he could meet us all, and asked us individually if he could marry Mandy (as far as I know, Mandy had no clue he was doing this.) So not only did I get ONE great cousin-in-law to take care of my precious cousins, I was getting TWO! It was a very special day:)

#1 Jayme Petete and Kenny Reinbold
My #1 favorite wedding memory of all time comes from my cousin Jayme's wedding (younger sister of #2 wedding bride.) The wedding was wonderful and I was so proud to be a bridesmaid at the wedding Jayme and I had talked about our entire lives. However, my favorite part of the wedding had nothing to do with the ceremony. If you go back to wedding #5 you'll remember that growing up I wasn't allowed to dance and that dancing was regarded as "a sin." As I got older, things had changed a bit, everyone was ok with dancing...except my dad. Dad was always convicted that dancing was something he shouldn't take part in and so for most of my life, I figured I'd never have a father/daughter dance at my wedding, and like every wedding before, I figured I wouldn't have one at Jayme and Kenny's wedding either.

When I got to the Reinbold reception, my mom took me aside and told me to ask dad to dance. My response was, "No way!" It's hard enough being rejected by all the single guys in the room, it's even worse being rejected by your own dad, lol! I also told her I respected dad's leading to abstain from dancing as a way of sanctification and refused to push him to do anything he didn't believe in. However, mom kept emphasizing that I REALLY needed to ask dad to dance. Of course I continued to avoid asking him, until a slow song came on and he asked me. I was completely surprised and honestly had no idea how to react. We danced at least two songs together and I knew he could tell I wanted to cry. I had always hoped to be able to dance with my dad and finally, after years of trying to persuade him, he finally asked me to dance. After that, I didn't care how many single guys were in the room nor did I  wonder how many invitations to dance I'd receive. All that mattered is that I finally got to dance with my dream dance partner. My dad.

Me and dad dancing

My favorite picture of us, ever!

"Do I HAVE To Choose A Side?"

In a traditional wedding, it is customary for the bride's family and friends to sit on the side she stands on, likewise for the groom's family and friends. For example, the bride is usually to the left of the groom, therefore the bride's loved ones sit on the left side of the church. I have heard multiple reasons for this tradition.

1) Back in the day, a marriage was a political union, and depending on how rich the bride was, it was a well-guarded ceremony. The groom was placed on the right of the bride as a defensive strategy, so that if the bride's life (or we could say, "his investment") was at stake, he, his groomsmen and the rest of his posse could easily access their weapons and attack. I would LOVE to see a dramatization of this scenario at a wedding today, complete with an "attack," forcing a sword fight to ensue!

2) The other reason for this tradition is to symbolize the idea that a bride and groom's loved ones are behind them, supporting them in their decision. It also symbolizes their future support of the couple's marriage.

Now, the real issue today is, "Do I HAVE to choose a side?" More than likely, no swashbuckling pirates are going to disrupt the ceremony, looking to strike the couple down with swords. And one of the biggest complaints I hear from wedding guests is that they want to see their loved one's face as he/she takes his/her vows and sitting behind them prevents this privilege. Another issue with this tradition is the scenario in which a guest is equally close to both the bride and groom. What then? When the usher asks "bride or groom" do you start going back through your history with both to determine which one you're closest to? "I met Jeff in May, but we didn't become good friends until after Jane and I hit it off in July;" or, "I've known them both my whole life but I once dated Lauren's brother and it didn't end well, so does that mean there's a slight rift between us?"

Luckily, some modern couples have come up with solutions to these issues. A few weddings I've been to have not been divisive in seating arrangements. The couple has told the ushers not to bother asking which side a guest would prefer, but simply where they would like to sit. This way, the guest can choose that perfect spot for that photo opportunity or to get a good view of the person they would like to see.

One strategy I have grown to LOVE is when the preacher stands on the floor during the ceremony, while the bride and groom stand on the stage. This way, the couple will still be looking to the preacher for guidance but are also facing the guests, making their faces and expressions available to be viewed and photographed throughout the wedding. Everyone wants to see the looks on the bride's face as she becomes a wife. And nobody wants to miss the look on the groom's face when he pledges his life to his new bride. Not to mention, the KISS! This way, everyone wins.

So for those future wedding guests out there who are still facing the dilemma of "which side should I choose" my solution to you is, grab a friend and play "Rock, Paper, Scissors." That's how I deal decisions in MY life!

7 Brides for 7 Brothers and How it Affected My Summers

I remember when I was a little girl, I was obsessed with musicals! I loved the fact that people could randomly break out in song and choreographed dance and it was perfectly acceptable. (I attempt it now and people judge me.) But one musical I fell in love with at an early age was Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. I remember the first time I watched the scene where the women are standing around in their captors' room and begin to sing the song "June Bride." For those who have never watched this movie or seen it performed, the repeated lyrics of this song are, "They say when you marry in June, you'll always be a bride." I knew, right then, this philosophy would have a major effect on my life...and so it did.

For those who don't know me that well and wonder how I know so much about weddings, let me just take this summer for example. This summer, alone, I have already attended four weddings, have two more coming up, and at least three weddings I cannot attend because they were scheduled at the same time as another wedding and I had to make a choice. (That's not counting any last minute invitations I might receive in the future.) My June and July are PACKED FULL of weddings. Obviously, there were quite a few little girls who watched Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and caught the same philosophy those girls were dishing out to the public.

I want to make it clear, I am not complaining. I adore weddings and wish I could attend everyone's; however, because Milly and her homegirls brainwashed us all into thinking the only acceptable months to get married are June and July, I'm not able to oblige. This is my proposal: there are 10 other months in the year to get married, I lovingly suggest that everyone consider getting married in one of them. This is my reasoning.

1) You're probably less likely to conflict with other peoples' weddings. If those other couples are friends, your mutual friends would not have to choose between the two of you. You, in turn, would not have to miss out on any important weddings.

2) You're less likely to have your invitation get lost in a mass of invitations. As much as people love you and want to attend, you don't want to become a number (ex. "Jeff and Sarah, wedding #5, check!").

3) Presents! If you're the only one getting married in that obscure month, you're probably more likely to get a more awesome gift, on account'a your guests will be more financially secure because they're not buying 20 wedding gifts that month. (This one seems a bit vain, but it makes sense, right?)

4) Last but not least, you're probably less likely to have a stressed out florist, caterer, planner, etc. During the wedding season, all of the above are busy not only working YOUR wedding, but they're probably dealing with multiple weddings, which can cause stress and anxiety. Your wedding day is stressful enough, you don't want to add to it by having a baker go berserk! This also applies to bridesmaids and family members. Everyone's got lives outside of your wedding, and that life may consist of OTHER weddings.

I know June and July are dream months, and seem more convenient than others because it's the end of the school year. I understand that more than anyone. So, I'm not discouraging people from choosing these months for their weddings, I'm simply encouraging them to consider the other months. And please don't stop sending me invites because of this stance, I love you all and feel incredibly honored to be considered important enough to attend one of the most important days of your life. I'm just trying to help you think outside the box a little and help make your wedding day the best it can be:) You're always a beautiful bride no matter what month in which you get married, so tell those crazy faces from the movie to shove it!

P.S. Watch out for the Christmas season, people can pretty much tear that month up too!

Top 3: Worst Jobs at a Wedding

I have performed every kind of job possible in a wedding. I have been a flower girl, a bridesmaid, the punch server, you name it. But here, I compile the Top 3 Worst Jobs at a wedding. (Keep in mind, this is from my own personal experiences, other people may have a different opinion.) Also, as a note, if you have asked me to do one of these jobs in the past, I do not hate you or resent you in any way. Nor do I refuse to ever do these jobs in the future. It's your day, any thing I can do to help, I will:)                

The #3 WORST Job at a wedding is: GUESTBOOK KEEPER.
   Now, before you flip out and think "how hard is it to stand there and watch people sign a book?!" let me elaborate. The job of a Guestbook Keeper can go one of two ways: 1) You can stand there, watching experienced wedding goers who know what to do sign the book, and feel unnecessary and bored out of your mind; or 2) You can be frustrated because the line isn't going fast enough and the people behind them are getting impatient (it's happened to me several times).
  These days, people have come up with many new ideas to revolutionize the Wedding Guestbook. Some couples have their guests sign a picture frame encasing a picture of the lovely couples themselves. I recently attended (and served as Guestbook Keeper at) a wedding where the bride and groom had each guest sign a quilt square, to be afterward turned into a quilt to commemorate their wedding day. These ideas are wonderful and creative. The only issue with these ideas is that guests take a much longer time gathering their thoughts, making sure the pen or marker is working (which, inevitably, it won't), and write a beautiful DISSERTATION over how excited they are for the couple. As Guestbook Keeper, this can get a little stressful, seeing as how the people behind the literary poet or critic just want to sign their names and sit down. And because you are the nearest wedding official, the guests assumed that you made the inadequate pen or marker and ask you what you can do about it...the answer is usually "nothing."

The #2 Worst Job at a wedding is: CAKE CUTTER.
Below, I have an example of a typical, modern, wedding cake. It is beautiful, elegant and really delicious to eat. The only problem is, IT'S SUCH AN AWKWARD SHAPE!

It's not like a sheet cake, where you need only to make little squares across the top. With this cake, there's a certain way it MUST be  cut.
    Now we all know the guests come for the cake. Of course they love you and they enjoy watching you take one of the most important steps of your life, but all they're really thinking about as they sit through your hour long ceremony is "I can't wait to get the heck outta here and ruin my diet on cake!" This being the case, people are very particular when it comes to their slices of wedding cake. That fact makes a Cake Cutter's job very intense. In my experiences, I've cut the slice too small (making the guest angry); in other cases, I've cut it too large (making the caterer angry, not to mention the guest who saw "that other guy's slice" and want one just as big); and the worst scenario of all is when the cake falls apart as I cut it, leaving a huge glob of cake-like substance on someone's plate. You would think no one would mind since it's all going to the same place, but for some reason wedding guests want to eat their cake while it's still "pretty." *SHRUG*

The #1 Worst Job at a wedding is: CANDLE LIGHTER.
I think you all know what I'm talking about when I mention "The Candle Lighter" job at a wedding. It involves marching down the aisle with a long, torch-like device and lighting a ridiculous number of candles in an even more ridiculously elaborate candle stand. Below, I have a small example of such a stand (take this image and add more candles to where the stand would be 7 feet tall and 4 feet wide.)

Fortunately,  candle lighting is rarely part of weddings nowadays, but growing up I saw it a lot.  For those who have never had this job, let me describe to you the thoughts running through a Candle Lighter's head. First of all, we don't want to light the candle sculpture any more than you want to watch us do it. We know that you drove a long way to get to the wedding and would rather it be over so you can grab your CAKE and go home. Secondly, the sculpture is wicked daunting, because we know that at least 10 out of the 27 candles are not going to light the first time around, and 4 out of the 10 won't light the second or third time around. So we're standing on the stage, in frustration, because the candles won't light, the bride is ready to go and the guests are glaring at us, waiting for us to screw up and wishing we weren't even there. By the time we've given up and walked off the stage, the audience is already against us, and inevitably someone is gonna come up to us afterward and say something like, "Man, you sure had a hard time with that fifth candle didn't ya?" Or even, "Was it necessary for you to light those DURING the ceremony? Why couldn't you have lighted those before?"
Yes, people, WE KNOW we were a waste of time, no need to rub it in our faces.

Bonus:
In honor of my roommate, Angela, I am going to add a bonus Job to our list. BRIDESMAID. Personally, I don't mind being a bridesmaid, but it is a very difficult job. Even the GOOD brides can have stressful weddings and the bridesmaids will pay dearly: financially and emotionally. There will always be one more shower to pay for, a dress size to maintain and one night's less sleep to catch up on. Of course, it all comes with the territory and we want to make sure the bride has the wedding of her dreams, but there's no denying it can be a stressful job.

SO, the moral of this story is, be nice to the people who are serving in a wedding! So what if your slice of cake wasn't as gorgeous as it was when it was attached to the rest of the cake? Say "thank you" and move on. And don't ever cross a Candle Lighter, it's not their fault if the bride and groom want to waste time during their ceremony, and it's never wise to tick off someone in control of fire!