Featured Wedding—Jennifer Owens and Victor Hill: What I Learned from Them.

Jennifer and Victor Hill..So sweet!!

Ok, wedding fans, I'm about to do something I've never done before in my blog, feature a wedding! Sure, I've made reference to a few weddings and have named names but this is special. Before I get started, I must admit that I did not actually attend this particular wedding, but after spending a good hour and a half with the bride the other night, looking at all 2,000 of her picture and hearing her stories, I swear I feel like I was there!

First, I must give a brief description of how I know the couple. Jennifer is an English teacher at Putnam City West and we became friends while I was student teaching back in Spring of 2010. Almost halfway through my semester at West, Jennifer started talking to my mentor teacher and I about a couple of dates she had been on and she brought up Victor's name. At this point, she was on the fence about Victor and was considering another guy as well. Both Cindy and I told her we had good feeling about Vic and that she shouldn't make a hasty decision about him just yet. Luckily, she chose right and they were married last March.

ANYWHO, Jennifer and Victor's wedding is, by far, one of the coolest weddings I've ever somewhat attended and I am going to point out my favorite things about their day.

Lego Man Boutonnieres
Victor is a well-known "nerd" (Jennifer's words) and she wanted to commemorate that fact in the wedding, so she got onto www.offbeatbride.com and found different ways to do it. She found out that you could do cool things with boutonnieres and ended up with the following:

Groom's Cake
They also expressed his "nerdism" with the groom's cake:

Comic Book Run after the Wedding
One of the coolest things they did was after the wedding when they went to a comic book store so Victor could get his weekly fix. When Jennifer posted the pic below she said that Saturday was Victor's  comic book store day, and that there's no reason why she should try to change that.

This is probably my favorite picture of them:)

Tip from the bride: If your man is nerdy (or wants certain things to be apart of the wedding), then present him with options that make you comfortable. Don't deny the groom the chance to let his personality shine in the wedding, but you can help out by giving him choices that are wedding friendly.

The Programs were HILARIOUS!
I am seriously sad that I could not find a picture of their programs but they were the COOLEST! To give you an idea of what it was like, I'll just say the top of the program said, "So you're at a wedding." They wrote everything themselves and I'm pretty sure they put little funny descriptions of the wedding party in it.

They Celebrated Other People Too
The day of their wedding was also her cousin's birthday and he had also just gone through a rough divorce. So, as a bday pick-me-up, they got him a special hat and celebrated his birthday at the reception. I have to say, this was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard, so classy!

Jenn's cousin:)

I think the best part of the entire day was that the bride and groom had an amazing time! Unlike most bridal couples who are stressed out the whole time, Jennifer and Victor genuinely enjoyed their wedding. That's the way it should be. Express your personalities and have tons of fun! So there ya have it folks. Lot of great ideas and fun stories! For more ideas, the bride recommends http://offbeatbride.com. Congrats to Jennifer and Victor, on your wedding, on your future, and on your feature;) YOLO!

Shameless Plug: Here Ya Go, Rick Vega!

"Something Old, Something New, Something Bronze,
and Something Blue"

Just adding this little advertisement: one, because I thought the phrasing was cute and catchy (because UCO's colors are bronze and blue); and two, because my good friend Ricardo Vega (Director and Guardian of the Nigh University Center at the University of Central Oklahoma) told me I needed to advertise for him! Bahahaha! SO, here it is folks, get married at UCO! Or at least have your reception here. If you're interested, please call UCO's Conference and Events office at (405)974-2244 or visit the website for more information.

Also, if you so desire, shoot Rick an email, telling him you read this. Send it to rvega@uco.edu:)

I have been to multiple weddings and receptions in the UCO ballrooms and they really are lovely. They have my endorsement:)

The Reason We're All Here: and Alternative Options for the Wedding Cake

As I have said multiple times in my series of posts, the wedding cake is one of the primary reasons people even show up to a wedding. (If a bride and groom are in denial about this, they need to think back to weddings where they were guests themselves.) The cake is a sweet treat for all who travel far and wide to celebrate the marital union. Of course, there are issues that come with having a wedding cake, specifically cost and overflow of leftovers.

As most of you probably know, wedding cakes are not just flour, sugar, and water anymore. In fact, wedding cakes can cost up to thousands of dollars, depending on size, decorations, and the baker. A few weddings I've attended have featured cakes made by family members, or friends who bake really well. I think this is a great idea; however, this alternative needs to be approached with caution. After all, it IS a wedding, and a nice event. You want a cake that fits the occasion, that you love, and that will taste good to the guests. If your Aunt So-and-So wants to make such-and-such, that's fine, just make sure it's what you want and that it will enhance the mood of the wedding instead of hindering it.

The other issue most (if not ALL) couples have with a wedding cake is a crazy amount of leftover cake. I have been to big weddings, I have been to small weddings, but EVERY wedding I've been to has had a major amount of cake uneaten. Not that I can complain too much, I always end up getting to escort some of the remnant home and eventually eat it later, but that is not an ideal situation for most people. The solution to this problem is not as easy to solve. I'm sure every couple takes into account a ballpark figure of how many guests they will have, but for some reason they still end up with cake in the end. Though I'm not gong to pretend I have the perfect solution to this problem, I think it can be helped by alternative ideas.

Alternative ideas for wedding cake are a fantastic idea, especially for brides and grooms who do not really care for cake. I have multiple friends who have never been fond of cake and have chosen other featured desserts, such as: donuts, ice cream, cheesecake, and candy bars. Most of these couples have chosen to include the aforementioned treats IN ADDITION to a cake, but that doesn't have to be the case.

I know it has been a tradition since the beginning of time to include cake at a wedding; however, a couple should not feel obligated to include something they don't want. Instead of the menu saying "Cake and.." just let the other stand alone. If you have a dessert you like better than cake, have that. If you love pie more than cake, get a bunch of pies. If you like candy bars, get a wide array of candy bars. I even saw on a website where a couple had a table full of different truffles and pastries from their favorite bakeries.

This may seem a bit redundant since the theme of every post seems to be "Do what you want," but I think topic needs special emphasis. If you want to save money and gets something you like better, look into different desserts rather than a plain wedding cake. HOWEVER, if you're a fan of cake (like I am) make sure you get what you like. Don't feel pressured by tradition or pushy friends and family members. Find the right baker, choose the combination of cake, icing, and design you want, and enjoy your day!!

Opening Day!: The Top Three Reasons I Love Weddings

June is now upon us, and we all know what that means...WEDDING SEASON IS HERE!!! Yes, friends, it is another season of frills, thrills, cake, white people dancing, and awkward family get togethers! Of course, for some people the season never truly ended; but for the sake of the normal people reading this, I will declare the next two months to be the prime time of marriage.

Like last summer, I will update this blog once a week, continuing to share my memories, advice, and observations of that timeless, worldwide tradition of the wedding.

Just to remind my readers, I do not "name names" unless I am mentioning something I love. I did not create this blog to be a Joan Rivers commentary on your wedding day, or to tell you how you messed up. I only share advice to help, not to scold. What I want more than anything is for your wedding day to be everything you have always dreamt it would be, and to maybe pass along ideas that you have not thought of yet. If anything, I hope this blog is entertaining and encouraging.

As I considered what the first post of the season would be, I had to go through my thoughts and memories to determine why I write about weddings. The reason I write about weddings is because I attend so many, and then I had to ask WHY I attend so many. I do not have to accept every wedding invitation that comes my way, and I know plenty of people who choose to limit their wedding attendance for one reason or another. However, I never turn down a wedding invitation unless it conflicts with another event (usually, another wedding). So that left me to meditate over my decisions concerning weddings, and I think the answer is very simple, I LOVE THEM!

One may ask, "Sheri, why on Earth do you love weddings?! You, as an ever-single twenty-something, should realize how obnoxious and boring they are!" I would consider this a fair question. After all,  weddings have a certain stigma where single people are concerned, and ceremonies can be a little dull. However, there are so many amazing ideas and memories attached to weddings, and I think I have held on to all of them throughout the years. In answer to these enquiries, I would like to explain that I think it has much to do with my personality, and those who know me will read the rest of this post and nod in agreement. For the rest of you, I would like to share the top three reasons why I love weddings. (These explanations have no particular order by rank, so just get hierarchy out of your minds.)

Reason #1—I'm a fairy tale girl.
Ever since I was a little girl, fairy tales have been a big part of my life; and for a girl with more imagination than sense, weddings have always had a magical glow about them. Think back to when you were a child, didn't holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and even New Years have some sort of magical expectation about them? Every Halloween, (though I have never truly believed in ghosts and myths) I always expected something magical to happen like in the shows on television. I think everyone has felt the same way about Christmas at one point in their lives, like it's a time of miracles coming true. I don't think I've ever lost that feeling. I still get a whimsical feeling every Halloween and Christmas, and every wedding I attend brings about the same magical feeling that something great could happen. If any of you have been readers for a while, you will have read the post about my top favorite weddings; if not, go back and find it. Each wedding in the list had some sort of magical or romantic event occur (by romantic, I mean fantastical, not love story-like).
So when I go to a wedding, I'm getting to see a fairy-tale come true. When couples are dancing at the reception, I'm getting to see magic flow around the room; for some of the couples, the magic has been flowing for decades. Of course, there's alway that hope of getting asked to dance myself, but even if that doesn't happen, it doesn't mean the magic isn't happening. In fact, though I would like to join them, it is actually cool to know that as the magic show is going on, I get the best seat in the house.


Reason #2—I'm a social butterfly.
It will come as no surprise to anyone that I love social gatherings. As a well-known extrovert, I not only enjoy being around people, but in order to fully function, I MUST be around people. This is another reason I love weddings, there is always an opportunity to be around people and make new friends. Even if I'm at a wedding at which I only know one person, I love to walk around and get acquainted with the other guests. (This is how I know the movie THE WEDDING CRASHERS is realistic; if you have enough charisma, you can take over any room.) Of course, nothing brings people together quite like weddings: there's food, entertainment, mutual friends, and plenty of topics to discuss as a wedding can tie into any conversation. I guess one could say that I thrive at weddings. The environment is usually very friendly and adds fuel to my social fire.



Reason #3—I want to serve.
I often tell my friends that they may be a lot of things, but unloved is not one of them, and I hope to prove that to them. As a friend, one of my constant goals is to make sure everyone I'm around knows I love them, not just by what I say but how I serve them. What better way to serve people and show them they're loved than on their wedding day? Though I have only been a bridesmaid two and a half times, (I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding I'm attending on Saturday) I have always made it my goal to assist and encourage the brides and grooms of each wedding I attend.
I remind them that this is THEIR day, do what I can to make sure their wedding is less stressful, and make sure they know that they deserve the happiness the day represents. Before you start assuming I'm a control freak that goes into a wedding and worms her way into a position to manipulate the event, I should point out that there are ways to do these things as someone who is just sitting in a pew. In a previous post, I wrote about being a good audience. Being attentive, smiling, and taking part instead of complaining actually goes a long way and can be a great encouragement to the couple of the hour. Of course, you can do all of these things at the reception when talking to them, respecting their time and energy, and (once again) NOT COMPLAINING. Tell them how great it was, and that you hope it was everything they've ever wanted. Reassurance is always good at weddings and lifts a spirit more than anything else.

From these three reasons, I think you can understand how weddings match my personality. I may be a realist, but I also have a foundation built on imagination and fairy tales; I love social events and meeting new people; and I see weddings as an amazing way to minister to the people I love. That, my dear friends, is why I love weddings. Do I have "off days" when it comes to weddings? Of course. Do I have days where I would rather be doing something else? Definitely. But there's a selflessness to attending weddings. I have never met a single person who said, "I wish that person had chosen to skip my wedding." Even if you've only met the couple a few times, if you get invited, you should go! If we can remember that just by attending a wedding, we can bring happiness to people on one of the most important days of their lives, then maybe we would take a different view of weddings in general.

Easter and The Great Wedding to Come, by Jason Johnson

I was going through one of my favorite websites, The Gospel Coalition, this morning and found this blog by Jason Johnson featured on the main page. Not only does it pertain to this day, Good Friday, but it is relevant to weddings and further examines why our relationship with Christ is often referred to as a marriage. It is definitely worth your time! I hope you enjoy:)

Happy Good Friday all!! :):)

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/04/05/easter-and-the-great-wedding-to-come/

P.S. You might have to copy/paste the link:)

Cute, Annoying, and the Fine Line that Separates Them

In 1987, ABC came out with the TV series Full House as part of their TGIF program. This show featured a widowed father, Danny Tanner, his three daughters, his brother-in-law Jesse and his best friend Joey. However, if you ask any American alive at that time what he/she remembers most about the show, they will respond with one name, Michelle. Michelle Tanner, the youngest of the Tanner daughters, (played by the now famous Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) was the center of the show. Her blond haired, blue eyed toddler cuteness overwhelmed audiences and the show was renamed The Michelle Show in many homes. Ever since, Americans have developed, what I like to call, The Michelle Syndrome; meaning, a show/event must have an adorable child in it in order for it to be worthwhile. The presence of infantile flower girls and ring bearers proves that weddings are no exception.

Having a child in a wedding can be an adorable! There's nothing like the presence of a Michelle at center stage to really put the "aww" factor into a ceremony. Of course, Michelle Tanner was always adorable, always on cue, always obedient and always composed. But what happens when Michelle gets scared? What if she gets shy? What if she forgets how to walk a few feet? What if she gets distracted by a fly? What if it turns out she can't walk at all? These are realities that must be faced when choosing participants in a wedding ceremony. 

Children are unpredictable, and though it may be cute in some circumstances, it can become annoying very quickly; especially in a wedding. That two year-old nephew may make an ideal ring bearer on paper, but what happens the moment the music starts? Will he still be cute when everyone in the wedding party has to break formation, go back up the aisle and get him? I have been to so many weddings where five minutes of the ceremony is spent with the groom, the bridesmaids and even the pastor stooping down, saying, "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon." 

This is the moment where the Michelle Syndrome breaks down. The wedding guests no longer see this child as the adorable Michelle, but see him/her more as a Damian from The Omen. When the baby starts crying because it doesn't know what to do, the audience may feel pity for the poor piece of preciousness, but ultimately they're thinking, "someone just go get her!"

There are a few solutions to this problem:

Solution #1—Set an age limit.

Only include children in your wedding who can function on their own. Don't choose a baby who just took his/her first steps the day before. It won't be cute twenty minutes later when they finally get to the end.

Solution #2—Pick a child who is mature enough to handle it.

Just because your niece is old enough for the job, doesn't mean she's mature enough for it. If the F.G. or R.B. is 10, but has bad stage fright, for Heaven's sake, let the child sit out! The ring bearer could be an old man and still be unfit for the job. Be discerning.

Solution#3—Use alternative transportation for underaged participants.

If you really feel convicted that your cousin's two week-old daughter needs to be in your wedding, that's cool. Just get creative with how it will go down. I've been to a wedding where the maid of honor dragged the ring bearer and flower girl down the aisle in a wagon. That's cute and effective. In fact, that, in itself, is cuter.

So, the moral of the story is, the line between a child being cute and being annoying in a wedding is very fine. I love children and love a good Michelle in the wedding, but even I am bothered when I, as a guest, feel like I should leave my seat to help the child to his/her place. 

The wedding couple should also remember that they are supposed to be the center of attention. Even if the child gets where he/she needs to go, you don't want him/her to pull attention away from you during your day. Your wedding day should not be The Michelle Show, it should be yours. So choose wisely.

Reception Suggestions, but do what you want!

The reception at a wedding can be considered the most important part of the event. Although the most meaningful portion (and the actual reason we should attend weddings) is the ceremony, the reception oftentimes becomes the main focus. It's often a casual, relaxing time for people to talk to friends, kick back and fill their bellies. That is why I am offering up four suggestions concerning receptions. 

Before you assume I'm going to give you a list of specific decoration ideas, I'm going to have to shut that train of thought down. I have no eye for decor, I'm not even that good at decorating my own room (I leave all those ideas to Kristen Haney:) My area of expertise (if you even wanna call it that...you shouldn't) mostly lies in food and entertainment. Of course, I am stealing ideas from weddings I've been to in the past and my new bff theknot.com (don't judge me!) 

#1 suggestion for a reception is make it as personal as possible.

I don't know who said inside jokes at a wedding are a bad idea, I have to strongly disagree! The more personal the reception is to the bride and groom, the better it is, even for the guests. I once went to a wedding where the couple had a lemon and lime themed reception. Of course everyone seemed confused until word got around that the couple chose this theme because they always claimed to be "as different as lemons and limes." It doesn't matter who doesn't get the joke at first, it makes it so much more enjoyable for the guests to get to know your relationship better as the night goes along.

Along with this idea is putting facts about your relationship into your reception. One couple I know placed pictures of their relationship from start to finish all over the place. I read about a couple who met in Vegas and named each table after a location in Sin City. I also went to a wedding where each place mat had a random fact about the couple (be careful that, if you choose to do this, you don't reveal anything inappropriate.)

Food can also be a personal touch. My great friend Jessica had Chick-fil-a brownies in her reception because they were her favorites, and I fully intend to have Icee machines at my wedding! More on food later!

#2 suggestion for a reception is make it comfortable and fun.

Receptions don't always have to be formal, in fact, it's often better if they're not. If you wanna go for a more casual lounge setting, there's no reason to stick to tables and hard chairs. Not to mention, if the bridal party decides to follow tradition and take pictures directly after the ceremony the guests could be waiting around for a while. 

So having entertainment for those waiting is never a bad idea. Many couples decide to use things like photo booths and mad libs to help keep the guests busy, both great ideas! An idea I just read about is having a photo scavenger hunt with disposable cameras at each table. The guests must do things like: take a picture with three people you don't know, find an elderly couple holding hands, take a pic mimicking the bride and groom, etc.

Don't be afraid to get out of the norm with your setting and mood of the reception. It's your wedding, do what you want!

#3 suggestion for a reception is don't be afraid to include junk food.

It seems to me the idea of including junk food in a wedding reception is a bit taboo...it shouldn't be. Going along with the personal reception idea, if the bride and groom would prefer to not have finger sandwiches or full out dinners, bring in food they love. If the bride's favorite meal is pizza, bring in pizza! I once knew a couple who loved a wide variety of foods and had different stations around the room. In one corner, there was nachos, in another there was sandwiches, etc. The day is yours, the meal is yours, do what you want. 

Word of caution: Though this is your day and it should fit to cater what you desire, you should also consider that other people will have to consume what you lay out. Don't go out and choose the most random/wackiest thing you like, be considerate. Also, please remember there's a thin line between casual and tacky. Having a relaxed wedding is not the same as having a sloppy wedding. This is still a special day, it's not your everyday social gathering. Make it what you want, but do keep in mind it's unique.

#4 suggestion for a reception is dance floors and food bars are always a good idea.

I almost split this suggestion into two separate ideas but decided I needed to keep it together for the sake of not going off on tangents about how much I love each. 

Personally, my favorite part of the wedding is where I get out on the dance floor and break it down with my friends! Not everyone likes or believes in dancing (and I'm not judging either way) but dance floors not only allow people to let loose but something about them brings more openness to the room. It's more space to gather and I think it's an overall great idea..not to mention the cha cha slide never gets old!

Food bars are always fun! I'm not just talking about buffets, I'm talking about ice cream bars, candy bars, even pop/soda bars. Anything that gives variety, choice and enjoyment is recommended:)

Another random favor suggestion I discovered today is having monogrammed take home boxes for anyone who wants cake for later (WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT?!) That takes care of guests and less food your parents have to store in their freezers. 

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Like I keep saying, the reception is the time to enjoy and let loose. Brides and grooms, make it want you want, it's your day!!