Problem-Solving Couples: A Summer of Settling Wedding Dilemmas

Well, folks, it's been a whirlwind wedding season thus far, and I'm already scheduling weddings for next season (thanks for the heads up, guys!) Unfortunately, I haven't been as consistent as I have been in the past, and for that, I'm so sorry!

One unexpected theme running through the past months has been problem solving certain wedding dilemmas that have plagued me for a while. Now for some of you, these things may not be much of a thought, but as an avid wedding goer, there are just some things that have yet to find a settled place in the wedding dynamic. Lucky for me, I've had a few friends who are creative enough with these issues to help fill a few holes for me in these wedding practices.

Greeting line:

This first solution was brought to my attention by my good friends Jim and Meredith Brewer (Yes, Meredith, you finally made it into my blog!) The Brewers helped me solve a very prominent issue in a very unique way. The greeting line seems to be an old fashioned idea that many couples have a hard time fitting into their wedding lineup; however, without this line, the wedding duo seem to struggle with greeting each participant of their day. So, it seems that a greeting line is essential, yet couples cannot seem to figure out where to put it in the midst of everything going on and keep the flow of the wedding festivities going.

But being the problem solving couple that they are, Jim and Meredith decided to take the greeting line to the guests by dismissing everyone one row at a time, standing at the exit of that row to shake hands and hug them as they leave. That way, they literally greet everyone, while they are still in one place (sure solves the issue of hitting the moving targets at the reception.) I had never seen this done before and was very impressed by the efficiency of it.

Of course, this being a small wedding, it was perfect. For those who may say, "What if I have hundreds of people at my wedding?!" I think this solution has put me on a path of discovering how this could be done on a much broader scale. In a way, this is early research of a much greater cure for the greeting line issue. There is a way to have an organized way of greeting all of your guests without having to disrupt the rest of the flow (that has always been my problem with greeting lines going in to the reception.) For those great innovators, the Brewers, bravo! Keep up the proactive approach to life #forillrillfase.

CONFESSION: I didn't actually take this pic of Jim and Meredith,
but I didn't think any of the pics I got were good enough and this was directly prior to the
greeting line. So, what the hey, it's crazy adorable anyway:)

Filming (a wedding production):

If I could nominate a couple for "Most Well Produced Wedding," it would go to Seth and Madison Geiger. If you've been keeping up with my blog from the beginning, you know that one of my pet peeves of the bride/groom side of the aisle is that you can't see the face of the person you're there for. The same issue also comes in sitting in the back of the sanctuary, you came to see a glow and you're settling for a faint light.

If you could see me right now, you'd see me standing and applauding Seth and Madison for what they did to remedy this situation. They made use of the cameras and screens used in their church services, and videoed in such a way that guests could observe the ceremony on the screens! Meaning, though we were physically there, we could see their faces on the screen throughout the whole ceremony.

A great shot of the beautiful couple from one of the screens!
There's nothing more heart warming than getting to actually see
the people you love get married:)

Now, I know there may be a few objections to this by many a couple, "I don't want a camera in my face during my wedding, it's uncomfortable!" But I feel like the Geigers did this in a less invasive way. There were, essentially, two shots (one above and behind them, and one behind the minister). They produced it just right, that the cameras would trade off shots, and neither was close enough to disrupt what was happening, or to even be noticeable. It was so nice, as a guest, to be able to see their faces and see them well! That's the stuff you show up to a wedding for:)


To some of you, the dilemmas of greeting lines and facial views may not mean much, but as someone who strives to help people create their perfect wedding day, I'm consistently seeking out the little things and helping people solve the riddles. I try to do this by taking things from real life, not just in theory. I don't want to necessarily feed an idea I haven't seen pulled off. That's why I tell stories, that's why I share photos, and that's why I give true life examples. Of course, I highly recommend websites like Pinterest and The Knot, but the purpose of this blog is not to share secondhand advice, but to talk about my firsthand experiences. That's why I refuse to be called a wedding expert by my friends, I only know what I know, and profess to know nothing else. So, I hope what I have revealed up to this point has helped you. If not, I hope you've gotten plenty of laughs:)

BONUS PHOTO: My mom and I at the Geiger wedding:)

How Tetris Applies to Your Wedding

Over the years, I've become mistakenly known as a bit of an expert at weddings (I say mistakenly not because I'm feigning humility, but because I'm realistic about what I do and do not know.) That being the case, friends recently asked my advice on how to fit a family member into their wedding without making him/her a bridesmaid or groomsman. Every couple has posed this question at some point in their wedding, how do we fit everyone/everything into the wedding? This, my dear friends, is how a good Tetris strategy comes in handy.



Adorbs!
www.foodista.com

Tetris not only applies to fitting people into your wedding, but ideas and traditions. For example, say your mother-in-law-to-be has a family tradition that has been passed down since the Mayflower that she would like to be incorporated into the wedding, or the chain of luck will be turned into a continued curse for generations. Added to this scenario is the fact that your bride/groom has a cousin that MUST be invited into the wedding party somehow, or half of his/her family will not even bother showing up to the blessed event.

I'm sure the easiest way to handle this is to say "Screw this, we're going to Vegas!" But, for most, if not ALL couples, this is not a realistic idea. It's true that this is YOUR wedding, and that it should be focused on YOUR desires; however, this is also a family event, and it is a fusion of two differently shaped worlds being eternally bound into one. So what's a couple to do?

I'll give you the same advice I give to all couples (most of this was passed down from older, wiser folks, such as my parents and other couples):

1) HAVE A FAMILY MEETING RIGHT OFF THE BAT: I know the common idea is not to stir the pot before it boils, but I feel like a lot of arguments could be avoided if both sets of parents met with the bride and groom beforehand to discuss how things are going to go. The suggestion posed to me was to give each set of parents a piece of paper and have them write down what they want in the wedding, with the understanding that, ultimately, it is the couple's decision. I suggest telling them beforehand how many suggestions you resolve to fit into the wedding, so as to set the rules of Tetris ahead of time. Mothers-in-law/Fathers-in-law, try to remember that this is the most important day of your son's/daughter's lives, and that you had your day already. Brides and Grooms, try to be thoughtful of what this also means to your parents, they have awaited this day longer than you have and should be considered. That doesn't mean you should let them take control, but it also doesn't mean you should disregard them. Not to mention, an early compromise is a great tool for starting off the marriage with respect on all sides.

2) FIND A MEDIATOR/"NO PERSON": This piece of advice falls in with the first, find someone who can both play the protector and the enforcer in the wedding planner. People will naturally want to give input into the wedding, especially if they're family; and sometimes they can get pushy. Get someone to defend you, ward off the crazy when it comes, and make sure the square isn't trying to fit into a straight line space. If you have a wedding planner/coordinator, he/she usually assumes this role naturally. However, if you don't have such a person, find a reliable friend or family member that you know has your back, is bold, but is also gentle and likeable. I strongly advise finding a friend as inviting as they are aggressive, because you don't want doilies everywhere, but you also don't want your Grandmother to run away and never speak to you again.

3) DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF "THE LITTLE JOBS": Perhaps you don't want the bride's/groom's cousin on the stage with you the whole time, but that doesn't mean there isn't a place for them. Say, for instance, that cousin is bat-crap crazy but has a really great voice. Maybe let them sing a duet with the person you have singing a special. Or there are plenty of other things you can let them do: guest book, cake cutter, candle lighter, usher, let them help decorate, let them help drag the flower girl/ring bearer down the aisle in a wagon, etc. One important key in this part of Tetris is to make them feel apart even if they're not officially in the wedding party. I'm not saying you should be deceptive, but even telling them to wear the same color as the wedding party may make them feel special, and will help them stand out from other guests.

I found this on mightyheaton.com and thought it
was so clever!! It concerns ushering, but I think it applies:)

Of course, if you've read my past blogs, you'll say "But Sheri, didn't you name the first three job options as 'The 3 Worst Jobs at a Wedding'?" (I've been reminded of my own stupid words a lot lately.) But here's where that needs clarifying: are any of those jobs really bad or useless? Dear friends, all jobs at a wedding are wonderful in my eyes!! Any role a person can play in a wedding should be an honor to them, and a blessing to the couple, and I will HAPPILY do any of them (YOU HEAR ME, JOSH AND EMILY?!)

Yes, the "little jobs" can be tedious, but if there's anything I've learned, it's that doing them reduces greats amount of stress on the couple and allows the game of Tetris to run smoother. Being a guest book keeper or cake cutter allows you to help manage the blocks falling into place, and it allows the family to enjoy the merging of the pieces without wondering how they're going to fit.

As to the other pieces of advice, I can't guarantee they'll work every time. To a point, a wedding will always be a stressful event, and the more people that are involved, the greater the chance of crazy to occur. However, when managed thoughtfully and strategically, a wedding can be fun, and the more people that are involved, the longer the conga line! GAME ON!!

Summer 2013 Kickoff: Miles and Mentors

Well readers, another wedding season has commenced and I have gotten lazy with my posting. I am now 3 weeks, 2 weddings, 1 bouquet, and a bridal shower into this summer's wedding season and you haven't heard a peep from me. But I have been called out on my slacking by a few faithful followers (not to mention amazing friends: Anaam and Angela) and here I am, once again relaying my wit, wisdom, and experience to the masses.

I feel like there's no better introduction to the season than to talk about the first two weddings of the summer. Let me start out by saying that this particular wedding season is shaping up to be one of travel. Of course the farthest I've ever travelled for a wedding was a whopping 1617 miles to Colchester, VT (what up, Stotyns?!), but this season combined will end up being nearly 942 miles, as each wedding (apart from one) will require at least an hour of travel. But each mile is well worth it when I consider the couples involved. That's what makes the first two weddings so special. Explaining each one in great detail would take up more than one blog, so I'm going to try to make it relatively short despite the many great details/suggestions from each.

Both weddings involved a couple I mentored when I was in college. What I mean by that is, at one point, I was each person's "freshman mom"/leader at the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministries). I specifically mentored the brides, but was able to mentor the grooms by way of family groups as well. So, in a way, each wedding was BCM family reunion (see the seemingly random photo below).

My BCM roommate Casey, our Associate Director/Friend Kimily, and me.
This wedding was the first time we had been together in a few years!

Argos
The first wedding belonged to Aaron and Tori Argo. I was blessed to be able to see this couple from the first meeting, to the first DTR (Define the Relationship conversation), to the moment they became husband and wife! I can remember having weekly dinners with Tori: sharing life, sharing what Christ was doing with us, and discussing what that Aaron Argo guy meant to her. I also remember mimicking Aaron Argo's laugh with the squinty eyes/raised shoulders, and his reaction to me telling him to shut his face (that has nothing to do with the wedding, but I love those moments!) Needless to say, I was incredibly proud of my Tori and "Little Aaron Argo" on the day they finally said "I DO!"

On top of it just plain being a day of pride and joy, the Argos had a beautiful wedding! They got married in her home church in Inola, OK and held their reception at a beautiful ballroom at Rogers State University in Claremore. The color was pink (Tori's favorite) and the party was hopping with cake, cupcakes, awesome finger foods, and a few grandparents who schooled us all on the Twist! (I also got the pleasure of catching my 12th bouquet at this reception.) All in all, it was a personality wedding with both the bride and groom represented, and Christ front-and-center.

Recommendation from this wedding: Instead of just having a slideshow during the ceremony, the couple had a slideshow with a  voiceover of them sending a message to their attenders. It was so unique and creative, and I think everyone really enjoyed the extended personal touch. The Argos certainly know how to make people feel loved:)

Me and the Argos:)

Boles

Ahhh, Josh and Chelbe Boles! I met Josh his freshman year, and his high school sweetheart Chelbe the following year when she joined us at UCO and became my "BCM daughter". Of course, this was somewhat awkward since I had spent the entire year prior joking with Josh about how I was gonna marry him one day. But I knew Chelbe and I would be close the first day I met her when I creepily addressed her on this issue and her response was "Oh yea, he's already told me about you. I think we'll all get along quite well together!" Ever since then, we've been jokingly telling people we're going to start a polygamy colony out in the desert (I know, we have a creepy sense of humor:)

Me and my future commune mates.
Love you guys!

But this wedding brought me to tears because of the long history of the couple and how joyous the occasion was. Not only does the fact that they've been together for more than four years strike me as impressive (staying with your high school sweetheart throughout college isn't easy!), but they went against the odds and took a risk with an...duh duh duh...OUTDOOR WEDDING!!! For those new to my blog, and to the state of Oklahoma, that is quite a feat! Not only are outdoor weddings risky anyway, but with this particular home state of ours, the weather can change at life altering paces. It can be hotter than a wildfire on summer days, can rain randomly at the drop of a hat, and (as we've seen in the past few weeks) bring on damaging tornadoes.

But the Boles looked at the odds and said "pish tosh" and had their wedding at the beautiful Lyndley House of Duncan, OK. I'm going to go ahead and say this is the recommendation of the wedding, the Lyndley house was GORGEOUS and the food was fantastic (not to mention, this place came right out of Pinterest!)


Needless to say, this has been a great season thus far, and I anticipate it getting better and better as the summer moves forward! I will try to be more consistent with my posts and address topics as well as specific weddings. If anyone has any recommended topics or questions they would like for me to address, I will gladly take requests! Until the next time, keep lovin them weddings!

A Few Great Ideas and Fabulous Endorsements: Thank You Courtney Bass Harlin!!!

HEY FELLOW WEDDING FANS!!
It's been a while since my last post, but a wedding I attended this evening has inspired me to write. And when you're inspired to write, you just have to!

This evening, I attended the wedding of a friend and former coworker Courtney Bass (Harlin). First of all, the wedding was BEAUTIFUL! The bride and groom looked amazing and had the best time. From their fantastic day, I have more than a couple of great ideas and endorsements to give.

1) LOCATION: I highly recommend having your wedding/reception at the Dominion House in Guthrie. Tonight was actually the first time that I had ever been to the Dominion House, and I was definitely impressed! The house has an outdoor and indoor option. Courtney and her husband Timothy got married in the garden then had the reception in the dining hall, both were perfection! Below, I have a link to the Dominion House, for those interested in taking a look at it. Pictures are plentiful on the website, it's worth a look!

http://www.dominionhouseguthrie.com/

2) RECEPTION BAND: For only the second time in my life, I attended a wedding with a live band, and everyone at my table raved about them! Usually, I recommend deejays for their diversity, but the band this evening played all generations of music and did so extremely well. The band is called The Mystery Dates; they played music from the Beatles to Michael Buble and their vocal range was just as versatile as their music list. I happened to retrieve a cd and business card from them, I've attached the website below and they are also on Facebook. Check em out!

www.mysterydatesband.com

3) A WEDDING APP (WHO KNEW?): When guests arrived they received a card requesting that they dowload an app called Wedding Party to their IPhones and/or Androids. From this app, guests can upload pictures they take at the wedding in order to allow the bride and groom access to them. All I can say is OH SNAP! (No pun intended.) Technology gets cooler and cooler, and had I known there were such things as wedding apps, I woulda been on that years ago! Anywho, the link below gives information about the app, setting it up and what not!

 https://www.weddingpartyapp.com/

4) HOT TEA BAR (BLESS YOU, COURTNEY!!!): This is more of a personal preference, but I gotta give a shoutout to the couple for having hot tea at their wedding! Every reception (wedding, business, etc.) always have an option for hot coffee, but rarely do I find hot tea on the menu. When I walked in from the chilly evening, I immediately thought, "I could really use some hot tea," and, lo and behold, there was a wide variety of hot teas available for me to consume.
That got me thinking, hot beverage bars are a fantastic idea, especially if you have a fall or winter wedding. Hot coffees, teas, hot chocolate; all of these are fabulous considerations when putting together your catering orders (don't be stingy, bring honey too;).

All in all, I'm so grateful to be apart of Courtney and Timothy's big day and believe me, there were more great ideas where those came from, but that would take more than one post:). I just hope their wedding was as great for them as it was for those who got to witness it. Here's to you, guys:) Your vows said it all:)

The adorable couple the day they got engaged:) SO GREAT!

Rounding Third: The Official End of Wedding Season

Well ladies and gents, it's the official end of wedding season. June and July have passed us by and August is about to pack its bags; yet we look back on this summer with fond (or not so fond) memories of the weddings of the season. I have to admit, this has been a bit of a slow one for me. Overall, I only attended three or four weddings this summer, but this is expected to happen the further one gets from college. But I have confidence that more friends will soon start dating future spouses and there will be many weddings to come next season (especially when it comes to shipping Christmas trees to either North Carolina or Paris, you know who you are.) I don't mean to exclude weddings from the other ten months of the year, but, as I have noted before, June through August is known as the official season of weddings.

But just because wedding season is over does not mean the wedding spirit must die. On the contrary, we can hold the spirit of weddings in our hearts all year long! For some, that is a reason to celebrate; for others, that is a reason to cry your eyes out and watch The Holiday. But whichever category in which you find yourself, just enjoy the ten month break.

I will continue to post on my blog, but I also want to inform everyone of my new Pinterest (I just got it today) http://pinterest.com/auburnbeauty05/. As this will more than likely be a new obsession rather than a hobby, I will be updating my Wedding Ideas board often. Keep checkin in for cool new stuff.

Also, if anyone would like to offer categories or questions to be posted on my blog, feel free to suggest, ask, or comment! I welcome it:)

Until the next post, have fun out there!

To My Biggest Blog Fan: The Geiger/Lang Wedding

A few months ago, I was sitting in my sisters' apartment talking to their engaged roommate Darah. We were discussing her wedding and it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't even sure I was invited. When I brought the topic up Darah said, "Of course you're invited! I wanna be in your blog!!" Well Darah, here you are, my second featured wedding ever on Memoirs of a Gaches. I hope I live up to your expectations:)

The date was July 7, 2012. The heat was rising rapidly in Lawton, Oklahoma but it did not break the spirits of the bride and groom waiting patiently in different areas of the baptist church in which they were about to be married. The flowers decorating the ceremony were purple and white, while the groomsmen and bridesmaids donned a dark shade of purple. The couple wisely took pictures beforehand and all that was left to do was to be married and welcome their well-wishers with finger foods such as: fried green beans; fruit; hot ham and cheese sandwiches on those awesome sweet rolls; and a fudge bar made up of an assortment of fudge baked by the bride's family.

The ceremony was short and to the point (as most, if not ALL, ceremonies should be) and the guests could tell how anxious the bride and groom were to get to that kiss signifying that, after seven years of dating, they were now husband and wife.

Yes, you heard me, SEVEN YEARS! Darah and Josh began dating when they were 14 years old and have been growing together ever since. I think that was probably the most exciting part of the whole shindig, that these two kids (compared to me, they kinda are;) have been together for so long, growing closer to each other as they have each grown closer to Jesus (the Author and Perfecter of love:) They had a God-honoring relationship and waited until they both felt old enough to be a married couple.

After the wedding, my sisters and I were driving back home and Jade asked me my thoughts on the wedding (I didn't realize this blog would make me a bonifide critic among my friends) and honestly, I loved everything!! The ceremony was great, the bride looked BEYOND BREATHTAKING, the cake(s) were so cute and delicious, and I think the bride and groom were satisfied with everything:)

Props to Josh and Darah for goin old school and using piano and organ for the entrance and exit. Also, props to the homegirl that sang "At Last" during the unity candle ceremony. As soon as she started, I looked over to Jade and said, "Dang, girl got soul." Good job to all involved;)

I have to brag on the reception hall. The decorations were so elegant and personal with each table displaying framed pictures of the couple and the refreshment set up was creative with different parts of the room holding different refreshments. For example, the bride's cake was in the middle, while the groom's cake (SO CUTE) was in a corner; the punch was on one side of the room, while the other drinks (strawberry water and lemonade) were in another corner in the room. The fudge bar was on one side of the room and the finger foods were parallel on the opposite side of the room. It was elegant, simple, and absolutely beautiful!!

One of the most special things about this wedding was that I got to catch my tenth bouquet, and I was thrilled that it got to be Darah's:) I would say this means I'm going into retirement, but as long as I'm still single, they still throw bouquets at single women, and I retain my competitive spirit, I'm sure it would be lie.

So, if I am a critic, I would give this wedding an A++:) Darah, you looked so beautiful and I hope this day was everything you wanted. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Lang!! To my readers, enjoy the pics below!

She totally pulled off the classic look!

THEY'RE SO CUTE!!

BUZZ AND JESSE:)

The fudge was creative and oh so good!

From left: Me, my sister Steve (Stephanie), Josh, Darah, and
the bonus sister Jade;)

This was dreamlike:)

Tenth bouquet and the beautiful bride:)

Wedding Cake Toppers

I have a confession to make, I LOVE wedding cake toppers. Over the years, I have seen toppers go from bland, to non-existent, to downright creative!! Instead of writing a bunch of stuff for people to read, I have decided to take this opportunity to share some really cool, sweet, and funny wedding cake toppers! Enjoy the show:)

Mildly inappropriate but still really funny!

AWW YEA!

For "great communicators"

For snap happy couples:)

For those internet daters out there:)

"I love you!" "I know.":)

UP, anyone?

This is my favorite:)

CHRISTMAS!

For all the football fans out there

Hope you enjoyed the pics! If you have any cool ones, PLEASE let me know:)

Featured Wedding—Jennifer Owens and Victor Hill: What I Learned from Them.

Jennifer and Victor Hill..So sweet!!

Ok, wedding fans, I'm about to do something I've never done before in my blog, feature a wedding! Sure, I've made reference to a few weddings and have named names but this is special. Before I get started, I must admit that I did not actually attend this particular wedding, but after spending a good hour and a half with the bride the other night, looking at all 2,000 of her picture and hearing her stories, I swear I feel like I was there!

First, I must give a brief description of how I know the couple. Jennifer is an English teacher at Putnam City West and we became friends while I was student teaching back in Spring of 2010. Almost halfway through my semester at West, Jennifer started talking to my mentor teacher and I about a couple of dates she had been on and she brought up Victor's name. At this point, she was on the fence about Victor and was considering another guy as well. Both Cindy and I told her we had good feeling about Vic and that she shouldn't make a hasty decision about him just yet. Luckily, she chose right and they were married last March.

ANYWHO, Jennifer and Victor's wedding is, by far, one of the coolest weddings I've ever somewhat attended and I am going to point out my favorite things about their day.

Lego Man Boutonnieres
Victor is a well-known "nerd" (Jennifer's words) and she wanted to commemorate that fact in the wedding, so she got onto www.offbeatbride.com and found different ways to do it. She found out that you could do cool things with boutonnieres and ended up with the following:

Groom's Cake
They also expressed his "nerdism" with the groom's cake:

Comic Book Run after the Wedding
One of the coolest things they did was after the wedding when they went to a comic book store so Victor could get his weekly fix. When Jennifer posted the pic below she said that Saturday was Victor's  comic book store day, and that there's no reason why she should try to change that.

This is probably my favorite picture of them:)

Tip from the bride: If your man is nerdy (or wants certain things to be apart of the wedding), then present him with options that make you comfortable. Don't deny the groom the chance to let his personality shine in the wedding, but you can help out by giving him choices that are wedding friendly.

The Programs were HILARIOUS!
I am seriously sad that I could not find a picture of their programs but they were the COOLEST! To give you an idea of what it was like, I'll just say the top of the program said, "So you're at a wedding." They wrote everything themselves and I'm pretty sure they put little funny descriptions of the wedding party in it.

They Celebrated Other People Too
The day of their wedding was also her cousin's birthday and he had also just gone through a rough divorce. So, as a bday pick-me-up, they got him a special hat and celebrated his birthday at the reception. I have to say, this was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard, so classy!

Jenn's cousin:)

I think the best part of the entire day was that the bride and groom had an amazing time! Unlike most bridal couples who are stressed out the whole time, Jennifer and Victor genuinely enjoyed their wedding. That's the way it should be. Express your personalities and have tons of fun! So there ya have it folks. Lot of great ideas and fun stories! For more ideas, the bride recommends http://offbeatbride.com. Congrats to Jennifer and Victor, on your wedding, on your future, and on your feature;) YOLO!

Shameless Plug: Here Ya Go, Rick Vega!

"Something Old, Something New, Something Bronze,
and Something Blue"

Just adding this little advertisement: one, because I thought the phrasing was cute and catchy (because UCO's colors are bronze and blue); and two, because my good friend Ricardo Vega (Director and Guardian of the Nigh University Center at the University of Central Oklahoma) told me I needed to advertise for him! Bahahaha! SO, here it is folks, get married at UCO! Or at least have your reception here. If you're interested, please call UCO's Conference and Events office at (405)974-2244 or visit the website for more information.

Also, if you so desire, shoot Rick an email, telling him you read this. Send it to rvega@uco.edu:)

I have been to multiple weddings and receptions in the UCO ballrooms and they really are lovely. They have my endorsement:)

The Reason We're All Here: and Alternative Options for the Wedding Cake

As I have said multiple times in my series of posts, the wedding cake is one of the primary reasons people even show up to a wedding. (If a bride and groom are in denial about this, they need to think back to weddings where they were guests themselves.) The cake is a sweet treat for all who travel far and wide to celebrate the marital union. Of course, there are issues that come with having a wedding cake, specifically cost and overflow of leftovers.

As most of you probably know, wedding cakes are not just flour, sugar, and water anymore. In fact, wedding cakes can cost up to thousands of dollars, depending on size, decorations, and the baker. A few weddings I've attended have featured cakes made by family members, or friends who bake really well. I think this is a great idea; however, this alternative needs to be approached with caution. After all, it IS a wedding, and a nice event. You want a cake that fits the occasion, that you love, and that will taste good to the guests. If your Aunt So-and-So wants to make such-and-such, that's fine, just make sure it's what you want and that it will enhance the mood of the wedding instead of hindering it.

The other issue most (if not ALL) couples have with a wedding cake is a crazy amount of leftover cake. I have been to big weddings, I have been to small weddings, but EVERY wedding I've been to has had a major amount of cake uneaten. Not that I can complain too much, I always end up getting to escort some of the remnant home and eventually eat it later, but that is not an ideal situation for most people. The solution to this problem is not as easy to solve. I'm sure every couple takes into account a ballpark figure of how many guests they will have, but for some reason they still end up with cake in the end. Though I'm not gong to pretend I have the perfect solution to this problem, I think it can be helped by alternative ideas.

Alternative ideas for wedding cake are a fantastic idea, especially for brides and grooms who do not really care for cake. I have multiple friends who have never been fond of cake and have chosen other featured desserts, such as: donuts, ice cream, cheesecake, and candy bars. Most of these couples have chosen to include the aforementioned treats IN ADDITION to a cake, but that doesn't have to be the case.

I know it has been a tradition since the beginning of time to include cake at a wedding; however, a couple should not feel obligated to include something they don't want. Instead of the menu saying "Cake and.." just let the other stand alone. If you have a dessert you like better than cake, have that. If you love pie more than cake, get a bunch of pies. If you like candy bars, get a wide array of candy bars. I even saw on a website where a couple had a table full of different truffles and pastries from their favorite bakeries.

This may seem a bit redundant since the theme of every post seems to be "Do what you want," but I think topic needs special emphasis. If you want to save money and gets something you like better, look into different desserts rather than a plain wedding cake. HOWEVER, if you're a fan of cake (like I am) make sure you get what you like. Don't feel pressured by tradition or pushy friends and family members. Find the right baker, choose the combination of cake, icing, and design you want, and enjoy your day!!

Opening Day!: The Top Three Reasons I Love Weddings

June is now upon us, and we all know what that means...WEDDING SEASON IS HERE!!! Yes, friends, it is another season of frills, thrills, cake, white people dancing, and awkward family get togethers! Of course, for some people the season never truly ended; but for the sake of the normal people reading this, I will declare the next two months to be the prime time of marriage.

Like last summer, I will update this blog once a week, continuing to share my memories, advice, and observations of that timeless, worldwide tradition of the wedding.

Just to remind my readers, I do not "name names" unless I am mentioning something I love. I did not create this blog to be a Joan Rivers commentary on your wedding day, or to tell you how you messed up. I only share advice to help, not to scold. What I want more than anything is for your wedding day to be everything you have always dreamt it would be, and to maybe pass along ideas that you have not thought of yet. If anything, I hope this blog is entertaining and encouraging.

As I considered what the first post of the season would be, I had to go through my thoughts and memories to determine why I write about weddings. The reason I write about weddings is because I attend so many, and then I had to ask WHY I attend so many. I do not have to accept every wedding invitation that comes my way, and I know plenty of people who choose to limit their wedding attendance for one reason or another. However, I never turn down a wedding invitation unless it conflicts with another event (usually, another wedding). So that left me to meditate over my decisions concerning weddings, and I think the answer is very simple, I LOVE THEM!

One may ask, "Sheri, why on Earth do you love weddings?! You, as an ever-single twenty-something, should realize how obnoxious and boring they are!" I would consider this a fair question. After all,  weddings have a certain stigma where single people are concerned, and ceremonies can be a little dull. However, there are so many amazing ideas and memories attached to weddings, and I think I have held on to all of them throughout the years. In answer to these enquiries, I would like to explain that I think it has much to do with my personality, and those who know me will read the rest of this post and nod in agreement. For the rest of you, I would like to share the top three reasons why I love weddings. (These explanations have no particular order by rank, so just get hierarchy out of your minds.)

Reason #1—I'm a fairy tale girl.
Ever since I was a little girl, fairy tales have been a big part of my life; and for a girl with more imagination than sense, weddings have always had a magical glow about them. Think back to when you were a child, didn't holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and even New Years have some sort of magical expectation about them? Every Halloween, (though I have never truly believed in ghosts and myths) I always expected something magical to happen like in the shows on television. I think everyone has felt the same way about Christmas at one point in their lives, like it's a time of miracles coming true. I don't think I've ever lost that feeling. I still get a whimsical feeling every Halloween and Christmas, and every wedding I attend brings about the same magical feeling that something great could happen. If any of you have been readers for a while, you will have read the post about my top favorite weddings; if not, go back and find it. Each wedding in the list had some sort of magical or romantic event occur (by romantic, I mean fantastical, not love story-like).
So when I go to a wedding, I'm getting to see a fairy-tale come true. When couples are dancing at the reception, I'm getting to see magic flow around the room; for some of the couples, the magic has been flowing for decades. Of course, there's alway that hope of getting asked to dance myself, but even if that doesn't happen, it doesn't mean the magic isn't happening. In fact, though I would like to join them, it is actually cool to know that as the magic show is going on, I get the best seat in the house.


Reason #2—I'm a social butterfly.
It will come as no surprise to anyone that I love social gatherings. As a well-known extrovert, I not only enjoy being around people, but in order to fully function, I MUST be around people. This is another reason I love weddings, there is always an opportunity to be around people and make new friends. Even if I'm at a wedding at which I only know one person, I love to walk around and get acquainted with the other guests. (This is how I know the movie THE WEDDING CRASHERS is realistic; if you have enough charisma, you can take over any room.) Of course, nothing brings people together quite like weddings: there's food, entertainment, mutual friends, and plenty of topics to discuss as a wedding can tie into any conversation. I guess one could say that I thrive at weddings. The environment is usually very friendly and adds fuel to my social fire.



Reason #3—I want to serve.
I often tell my friends that they may be a lot of things, but unloved is not one of them, and I hope to prove that to them. As a friend, one of my constant goals is to make sure everyone I'm around knows I love them, not just by what I say but how I serve them. What better way to serve people and show them they're loved than on their wedding day? Though I have only been a bridesmaid two and a half times, (I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding I'm attending on Saturday) I have always made it my goal to assist and encourage the brides and grooms of each wedding I attend.
I remind them that this is THEIR day, do what I can to make sure their wedding is less stressful, and make sure they know that they deserve the happiness the day represents. Before you start assuming I'm a control freak that goes into a wedding and worms her way into a position to manipulate the event, I should point out that there are ways to do these things as someone who is just sitting in a pew. In a previous post, I wrote about being a good audience. Being attentive, smiling, and taking part instead of complaining actually goes a long way and can be a great encouragement to the couple of the hour. Of course, you can do all of these things at the reception when talking to them, respecting their time and energy, and (once again) NOT COMPLAINING. Tell them how great it was, and that you hope it was everything they've ever wanted. Reassurance is always good at weddings and lifts a spirit more than anything else.

From these three reasons, I think you can understand how weddings match my personality. I may be a realist, but I also have a foundation built on imagination and fairy tales; I love social events and meeting new people; and I see weddings as an amazing way to minister to the people I love. That, my dear friends, is why I love weddings. Do I have "off days" when it comes to weddings? Of course. Do I have days where I would rather be doing something else? Definitely. But there's a selflessness to attending weddings. I have never met a single person who said, "I wish that person had chosen to skip my wedding." Even if you've only met the couple a few times, if you get invited, you should go! If we can remember that just by attending a wedding, we can bring happiness to people on one of the most important days of their lives, then maybe we would take a different view of weddings in general.

Easter and The Great Wedding to Come, by Jason Johnson

I was going through one of my favorite websites, The Gospel Coalition, this morning and found this blog by Jason Johnson featured on the main page. Not only does it pertain to this day, Good Friday, but it is relevant to weddings and further examines why our relationship with Christ is often referred to as a marriage. It is definitely worth your time! I hope you enjoy:)

Happy Good Friday all!! :):)

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/04/05/easter-and-the-great-wedding-to-come/

P.S. You might have to copy/paste the link:)

Cute, Annoying, and the Fine Line that Separates Them

In 1987, ABC came out with the TV series Full House as part of their TGIF program. This show featured a widowed father, Danny Tanner, his three daughters, his brother-in-law Jesse and his best friend Joey. However, if you ask any American alive at that time what he/she remembers most about the show, they will respond with one name, Michelle. Michelle Tanner, the youngest of the Tanner daughters, (played by the now famous Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) was the center of the show. Her blond haired, blue eyed toddler cuteness overwhelmed audiences and the show was renamed The Michelle Show in many homes. Ever since, Americans have developed, what I like to call, The Michelle Syndrome; meaning, a show/event must have an adorable child in it in order for it to be worthwhile. The presence of infantile flower girls and ring bearers proves that weddings are no exception.

Having a child in a wedding can be an adorable! There's nothing like the presence of a Michelle at center stage to really put the "aww" factor into a ceremony. Of course, Michelle Tanner was always adorable, always on cue, always obedient and always composed. But what happens when Michelle gets scared? What if she gets shy? What if she forgets how to walk a few feet? What if she gets distracted by a fly? What if it turns out she can't walk at all? These are realities that must be faced when choosing participants in a wedding ceremony. 

Children are unpredictable, and though it may be cute in some circumstances, it can become annoying very quickly; especially in a wedding. That two year-old nephew may make an ideal ring bearer on paper, but what happens the moment the music starts? Will he still be cute when everyone in the wedding party has to break formation, go back up the aisle and get him? I have been to so many weddings where five minutes of the ceremony is spent with the groom, the bridesmaids and even the pastor stooping down, saying, "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon." 

This is the moment where the Michelle Syndrome breaks down. The wedding guests no longer see this child as the adorable Michelle, but see him/her more as a Damian from The Omen. When the baby starts crying because it doesn't know what to do, the audience may feel pity for the poor piece of preciousness, but ultimately they're thinking, "someone just go get her!"

There are a few solutions to this problem:

Solution #1—Set an age limit.

Only include children in your wedding who can function on their own. Don't choose a baby who just took his/her first steps the day before. It won't be cute twenty minutes later when they finally get to the end.

Solution #2—Pick a child who is mature enough to handle it.

Just because your niece is old enough for the job, doesn't mean she's mature enough for it. If the F.G. or R.B. is 10, but has bad stage fright, for Heaven's sake, let the child sit out! The ring bearer could be an old man and still be unfit for the job. Be discerning.

Solution#3—Use alternative transportation for underaged participants.

If you really feel convicted that your cousin's two week-old daughter needs to be in your wedding, that's cool. Just get creative with how it will go down. I've been to a wedding where the maid of honor dragged the ring bearer and flower girl down the aisle in a wagon. That's cute and effective. In fact, that, in itself, is cuter.

So, the moral of the story is, the line between a child being cute and being annoying in a wedding is very fine. I love children and love a good Michelle in the wedding, but even I am bothered when I, as a guest, feel like I should leave my seat to help the child to his/her place. 

The wedding couple should also remember that they are supposed to be the center of attention. Even if the child gets where he/she needs to go, you don't want him/her to pull attention away from you during your day. Your wedding day should not be The Michelle Show, it should be yours. So choose wisely.